What would you do - travelling away for work once a week?

[StealthPolarBear]

I have 2 DC, 5 and 2y7. In December I took a job in another city, 60 miles away. I work from home 3 days a week, and once a week I travel down and stay over for one night, with 2 long days in the office. I leave before the DC are awake on the first day, and more often than not, cme back when they're asleep on the second day.
The other 3 days they are at school/CM, but I drop off and pick up.
As far as DH and I are concerned this is working fine. But the children have recently started doing the "we miss you when you're away", "we cried", "we don't want you to go away any more" etc. DH assures me that they're fine when I'm not there, and I believe him. But I'm starting to wonder whether this is the right this for my family as a whole.

Just a bit of background- I left a job in which I was miserable and extremely stressed when I got this one. I love it - I describe it as my dream job. From a work pov it works well, I work extremely long days when I'm there (my choice). I'd be very sad to leave and am unlikely to get a similar job with the same money which I like as much locally. When I put it like that it seems obvious, but am I putting my career in front of my DC happiness?

You aren't -they are just pushing your buttons on this.

FWIW, I travel a lot for work and occasionally ds(5) tries a 'but I'll missss you mummmmmyyyy' on me - but he's not actually worried at all by it. DH bigs up my longer trips to him as boy time, and they do something special. Like a trip through drive through after school/work.

Thanks :o That's my thoughts too, but I just wondered whether I was being selfish and thinking what i wanted to think. I just worry - I think doing it as a one off (as DH does now and again) is different to routinely leaving them. But they are with their Dad - I'm not leaving them with bread, water and the TV!!

Bump for any other opinions

Don't worry - they may miss you; they may be pushing buttons. Either way, even if they miss you it doesn't make it a wrong job

its a great job, presumably gives you good money, makes you happy and you're at home when the DC are 3 days a week. that's a very good bargain - they couldn't be expected to evaluate the balance as you have to

I wish I was at home that much! I am often away for work - not as far or long as CMOT but days when I leave while DS in bed and home when he's in bed too. I leave him notes (even before he could read) or send him a postcard or bring little treats home - like pens from the office - not everytime, just sometimes

I think your balance sounds great

I'd agree with Oxeye. That sounds a really good way of working to me. I similarly work full time but a lot from home, and also going away overnight fairly often, not once a week but on a regular basis for a night or a few nights. If you've got a job you like, and that enables you to work from home 3 days a week, I think you're doing really well and your dc might not quite appreciate that at their age but they can't envisage the alternatives or the implications.

Maybe there are ways of minimising their sense of missing you, though it's hard to tell how much they mean that. Can you have official treat night the night you get home, for instance? And big up their Daddy Night as a treat for them all. My dc and dp quite like it when I'm away, I think, they get to slob out and watch lots of tv and eat junk food, in contrast to my regime of healthy meals, homework and music practice and bracing outdoor fun.

Its just one night, I doubt it will do unrepairable damage and in return they get a happy mother who enjoys her work.

Also if you were divorced then one night is the minimum they wouldn't see you during the week - its not an abnormal situation for many kids not to see one parent.

I work for exactly 2 hours a week. Every week without fail they moan and ask when I'm going to retire....

Funny how they never ask dh that?!

OP I think you're doing a very good balance.

Thanks everyone, glad to see it is unanimous and to whoever said I see the balance better than them. I like working his way too, once a week I can guarantee to stay late, as late as is needed to get anything urgent done, or if nothing urgent, clear a significant amount of backlog. In prev jobs I have always been dashing out at 5 to 6, leaving things half finished.
Thanks to itchy for putting it in perspective too, yes if we divorced they'd see less of both of us :(
Lol at your dc blooo, but what is it you do for 2h a week?!

How about moving house? If your DH had found his 'dream job' wouldn't that be something you were considering? How come it isn't on the table for yours?

It is something we've considered but we're in the fortunate position that dh also recently got a promotion in his current job, which is in the opposite direction. We've also got the house how we like it, ds in lovely school. Plus my job was temporary but looks like it might be extended. It's something wed seriously consider if the job continues long term (its long term location is also in doubt!) and dh ever looks to leave where he is, especially if it was a good time for the dc to move schools.