Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Can you differentiate between different kinds of crying?

20 replies

redexpat · 19/04/2012 10:10

Because I sure as hell can't! I just end upgiving DS (6 months) boob because I can't work out what he needs. Sometimes it is boob he needs, but I've noticed that other people can get him to do stuff I cant (HV, baby tumble play person) and are better at recognising different signs. I can tell which cry means pain, but that's it. Does anyone else have this trouble? Or any top tips?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

rowanrowow · 19/04/2012 12:57

I can't either! my DS2 is 4 months and all cries sound the same to me. I never sussed ou DS1's cries either but he was very very intense and cried pretty much all the time til he could talk. I just go through everything nappy, feed, cuddle, movement and walk about with him etc unless I know he's been awake for over an hour or 2 then I assume he tired so feed him and settle him for a nap. I have no idea!

BloooCowWonders · 19/04/2012 13:04

I never could! I have 3 dc who are now a bit beyond the crying phase. But b/f a baby is nearly always the right answer to me, so I'm with you OP.

LadySybilDeChocolate · 19/04/2012 13:09

I can. It's the pitch, a high pitch is pain, a low pitch is 'I'm bored and need a cuddle.' Depends on your baby though.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

BlackOutTheSun · 19/04/2012 13:10

I couldn't tell either

It is a bit easier now as dd is on the move so if she is by the kitchen crying then she wants something to eat, crying by the stairs, she is tired. Other then that its still guess work.

IWillOnlyEatBeans · 19/04/2012 13:59

I couldn't tell.

It's much easier now DS can talk and tell me whether he's a bit itchy/hungry/hot/whatever!

I found getting into a decent routine really helped - I then had a better idea whether DS was crying because he was hungry/tired/overstimulated.

posypoo · 19/04/2012 15:11

No I couldn't! I did the boob thing too (still do sometimes).

Original poster

redexpat · 19/04/2012 15:50

Oh thank god! I thought I was a terrible mother! Thanks everyone.

Yes routine helps to narrow it down a bit. I must give baby signing another go.

OP posts:

ReallyTired · 19/04/2012 15:55

I think that its guess work for most people. As you get more experienced with babies your guesses get better. Some of the guessing is based on the time of day. For example if your baby hasn't eaten for four hours then its likely to be hunger. If they have eaten, you changed the nappy then its likely to be tireness.

Babies love the boobe so you probably haven't gone that far wrong by offering a feed.

There are times that I don't know what my ten year old wants. He can be very unreasonable at times.

Destrier · 19/04/2012 20:41

cry=boob

ceeveebee · 19/04/2012 20:45

I think I can usually tell with my DTs the 'tired' cry is very different from 'hunger'. Also I have a pretty good routine so expect a certain type of cry at a certain time iykwim? Took me a while to distinguish between each twin though, have picked the wrong one out of cot in the dark more than once, resulting in me waking the one that was sleeping and then I have two babies crying instead of one, great

ShowOfHands · 19/04/2012 20:49

DD was tough to read and I always just offered her milk because generally even if she was cross/fatigued/bored etc, she'd want to bf to make it better. BF solved everything.

DS is very different in that he feeds only when hungry so I have to make more effort to understand his different cries. And it's not just the noise he makes (which involves pitch, breathing pattern, speed, volume etc) but his body language at the same time. So if he's sad, his eyes remain open and he looks at me while crying. If he's cross he closes his eyes and clenches his fists. If he's hungry, his bottom lip wobbles while he's crying. If his nappy's dirty his cry is insistent and he shakes his head a bit too. It all comes from having to watch him closely to work it out. DD, I just unhooked my bra.

YBR · 20/04/2012 20:10

It's rarely the cry which gives me the hint. More the body language and routine.
She tends to rub her eyes if tired, or yawn; hungry used to be sucking her hands but now she's teething that's not a good tell-tail. I sometimes put my finger in her mouth - if it's hungry she sucks but if it's teething pain she chews.

AngelDog · 20/04/2012 21:58

Yes now, but probably not till about 12 months or older - maybe 18 months. Bf was my magic solution to every problem (worked too :)).

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 20/04/2012 22:03

I couldn't!

I read the baby whisperer when ds1 was about 16 weeks old and while I didn't agree with the routine based ting, it did make me ralise that babies might not just want or need another bf when they cried

At that point I started to notice signs that he might be getting tired and tried putting him down to sleep rather than just feeding him - at that point things improved a lot for me. DS was less tired and cranky, I got a bit of time to myself a couple of times a day and things became much more predictable which suited me.

Even with ds2 I wasn't really able to tell what his cries meant, I'd just done it all once before so was better able to guess what he might need when he cried.

MoonlightandRoses · 20/04/2012 23:10

It took us quite a while - like you, everyone (more experienced) was interpreting 'hungry / tired / nappy change' etc and we couldn't hear the difference - it was only once we did a few weeks of writing down the times of nappy change, feed, sleep that we could look back, see a pattern and then start hearing the differences in the various cries. Admittedly, the pattern changes from time to time, but it did really help with identification.

hardboiledpossum · 21/04/2012 00:07

I think babies can be cheered up by a cuddle from someone else when only boob will do from mum.

YBR · 21/04/2012 07:01

I have had other people confidently telling me that LO is hungry when she is def. not 'cos I'd just fed her. You don't have to believe others have necessarily got it right every time.

SkinnyVanillaLatte · 21/04/2012 07:12

I couldn't with either of mine.I just went through all the possibilities (just to work out it was colic with my first....)

There's not that much riding on it really - it gets worked out in the end.

I'd rather be more intuitive towards them when they're older,and be able to tell when something is bothering them tbh.

LetsKateWin · 21/04/2012 07:18

I couldn't tell either, but I used to pretend that I could because I felt like a failure.

BF always stopped her from crying so maybe she had no other reason to cry?

JustHecate · 21/04/2012 07:24

Nah. I just worked my way through the possibilities until they shurrup

The only cry I could pick out from the bunch was the furious, 'oi y'bastard, what the hell are you doing not attending to me RIGHT NOW. I have been waiting a full five minutes. Get your arse over here or you're fired' cry. That normally came with a furious face, slight enraged trembling and some serious fist clenching!

You can guess a lot of the time though. If you've just fed them, then they're unlikely to be hungry - but it is probably their trapped wind cry. If they had their feed an hour or more ago, it's likely to be their nappy cry.

If you wanted to pretend that was having the ability to differentiate between two identical angry little squawks, you could

Flip