Please tell me about your 3 yr age gap...

[IWillOnlyEatBeans]

I have just found out that I am pregnant with DC2.

DS will be almost three when he/she is born.

I'd love to hear happy stories about siblings with 3-year age gaps as I am currently terrified (DC2 a bit of a surprise!)

I am in the same postition as you right now, so no advice as such, but I will be interested in what people say.
I have over the last 18 months witnessed three of my friends having their second just as their first turned 3 years old. All of them have been very positive about the results saying that their first DCs are very helpful, have got to the point when they can play on thier own a bit and are very proud siblings.
I have another firend who had hers 18 months apart and her story was a little different and she was def much less relaxed than my friends with the 3 year gap.

Thanks mrswee and congratulations!

Thanks and to you too!

My DS and DD are almost a year to the week apart ...... I wouldn't recommend it.

My DB and I are 3 years apart, when I had DS my mum was so shocked that I was hardly sleeping at night and she said things like: I had two dc and you were never like this"

Yes but I was fucking 3 when DB was born not, only just 1.

My DS was 3.2yrs older and it has been fine.

Before the birth he spent more one to one with Daddy and when with me I would leave him to play on his own more than before.

When DD was born he would play on his own when I needed him too and would have days out with Daddy to give me a rest! He adores his siter (and she him) and the only blip we had was when she started moving around and he got a little jealous of the attention she was getting.

The key piece of advice I found useful was to avoid treating him like the big boy - if he wanted me to baby him I did. if he wanted to help me - great, if not - no problem.

You also have to try and balance their needs - so the older one doesn't feel like they are constantly being dropped whenever the baby summons you!

I have almost exactly (bar 3 weeks) a 3 year gap between DS and DD who is now 8 months. I highly recommend it, it's been completely fine and far easier than I expected. At almost 3 DS had a good understanding (when I was pg) of the fact that he would be a big brother and we would soon have a baby in our family. He was never jeoulous of her as a newborn and we made a point (and still do) of saying things like "Oh she really likes you singing like that," and "she's smiling at you" and "she loves having a big brother like you" etc etc etc. The best we hoped for when she was born was ignorance on his part but he adored her from the moment he first saw her and just wanted to cuddle her ALL the time which was slightly annoying sometimes but it could have been far worse. Now she's becoming a proper person, he can get a bit jealous of the attention she gets and snatches stuff and does things which can be a bit nasty so I do have to keep an eye on him but generally he really loves her, and she LOVES him and thinks the silly things he does are hysterical (!), I can already see them forming a little alliance which is lovely! Good luck

i have 2yrs 10mths between ds1 and ds2 and 3yrs 3mths between ds3 and ds4, its been fine both times, my smallest age gap is 2yrs 5mths between ds2 and ds3, that was harder work as i was potty training ds2 when ds3 was little!

they play together really well, usual sibling squabbles, but think its a nice age gap, no need for a double buggy etc.

There is a 2yr5mth age gap between my two. Not sure if that is close enough to your age gap to be relevant but here I am anyway!

I found it easier than expected. DC1 was old enough to listen and understand when we explained about how the baby would need my time but she was still so important as my baby and a big sister. I could sit and read stories to her as I fed DC2.

Yes, there were moments when one or other was crying and I couldn't deal with them both immediately but overall it was great and continues to be so.

Now it is just lovely watching them love each other and DC1 being proud of DC2. Yes, they squabble and I do have my hands full but I love it.

Watching with interest as DS1 is 3.3yrs and I am 39+1 with DS2.

DS1 has been generally accepting of the pregnancy but we have had some challenging behaviour from him at times. Also, a few meltdowns in the last few weeks as the more obvious baby gear has appeared round the house - nothing a few cuddles couldn't fix though. He does talk about DS2 (he gave the bump it's nickname, although he seems to be thinking I'm having three babies) and has been very sweet about him at times. He is obviously apprehensive about how life will be post-baby but I think that he will generally be accepting. He is generally quite independent and has actually tried to help a lot with things around the house.

These stories are encouraging. I'm 30 weeks with DC2 and DD will be 2.10 when he arrives. She talks about the baby a lot, what he will do, how she'll be a big sister etc and loves to cuddle and sing to the bump. There's been a big increase in clinginess over the last few weeks though, so I'm not expecting a bed of roses.

DD had a present for DS and it was something he loved. He thought we had stopped at the shop on the way home from hospital! He asked how she knew he would like it and I told him she must have heard him talking when she was still in my tummy

However, don't overindulge because it just delays the issue if there is going to be one!

Oh - and make sure they understand that the baby won't be able to play with them for a while. My sister was very put out that I wasn't raring to go when I was born!

I have a 3 1/2 year age gap. Ds is 5 now and dd is 18m.

Its a BRILLIANT age gap. I wanted a smaller gap but because I had hyperemesis with ds we waited until he was a wee bit older before ttc no. 2.

They adore each other and ds was old enough to watch a few dvds / play by himself when she was being fed as a tiny baby.

I wouldn't change it.

Thanks all - very encouraging! :)

i have a 3 year 1 month gap between ds1 and dd, he loved being the older brother, old enough to help out, or amuse himself and also to realise that babies are a bit of a nuisance and not very interesting demanding.

between dd and ds2 there is a two year 1 month gap....she took it as a personal affront that she was no longer the baby!!

They do all get on now though, at 19, 16 and 14!! ....all is forgiven!

3 years and 3 months gap between mine, its been good mostly with a few difficult bits thrown in. DS1 is able to understand about the baby and adores him, DS1 is DS2 (now 6 months) most favourite person in the world and it makes me well up everytime.

Someone on here recommended a book called, three shoes, one sock and no hairbrush. The book was great for me and helped me not feel guilty about my feelings towards either DS1 or DS2 (I resented DS1 a bit for taking my time away from DS2 )

Wonderful! DS1 was 3 years 2 months when DS2 was born, and I planned gap. They are now 8 and 5 and love each other to bits. No competition between them, DS2 looks up to his elder brother and DS1 has a willing audience.

Perfect gap imo

3 years & 3 months between my two as well, & it's been good. There have been less than a handful of times where DD1 has expressed anger/resentment towards DD2 - I think because being that bit older she already saw that she had a life & relationships out of the immediate family unit, starting preschool & spending time with grandparents & such like. She is very patient with DD2, loves to lug her around like a doll. I really like the gap, I've found having 2 much easier than I was led to believe & I think having that bit more understanding/independence in the older one is key. I would go for the same gap again if we have number 2.

number 3 i mean.

Perfect (well, for me anyway!) My 2 (6 and 3) get on fantastically, play together, chose the same clothes, enjoy the same activities. This may change as eldest moves into juniors, but I doubt it.

I struggled in the beginning because it was so different to the first time round (when you just have one). If I'd have prepared myself for this and not worried so much about pushing eldest out/not spending enough time with the baby it would have been much nicer. Have had no jealousy problems and now have a social life, rarely need a buggy and can take a small handbag (or none) out with me! Congrats and best of luck.

I love my age gaps. 2yrs 9mths between each of the three.

Probably my favourite thing about it is that the elder ones have been able to understand 'wait' but they are close enough in age to play together.

2.11 yrs between mine. Compared to pretty much all my friends, who had 2 under 2, it was an utter doddle. I had a brilliant wrap sling which was a god send as dd was a velcro baby, but she was always happy in the sling. When she got a bit bigger I got a hip seat which has also been great as I could follow ds round playgrounds and soft play etc with dd on my hip, and she could get up and down easily.

They are nearly 6 and nearly 3 now - sadly they have never played together very well as ds likes intricate games with very small toys which have to go in exactly the right place, and dd doesn't get what he is doing, but I hope it will get better as dd gets older. They do love each other and ds does lovely things for her, like reading to her and helping her round soft play frames (no mean feat as she weighs a tonne!).

Liege - it's so gorgeous when the older one helps!

DD was coming down a fast slide and DS stood at the bottom waiting to catch her and offering encouraging words!