14 yr old daughter

[sweetdisposition]

me and my partner of 17 yrs split 14 months ago, my daughter lives with her mum and I get to see her maybe once a week at the week end. I always feel like it's not enough, and i've lost my bond with her, but her mum says it's her age and she just want's to be with her mates.
Am I being un-realistic in wanting to spend more time with a teenager?

No, you aren't being unrealistic to want to see her. I think it is great that you do see her.

Why can't you have her for a whole weekend once or twice a month? and dinner one night a week/or every other week?

Have you actually asked your daughter what she wants? She may be craving your attention too. If seeing her means entertaining her mates too, do that. She'll love you for taking them to the cinema or just dropping off at the shops in town.

Hope that helps.

You are being unrealistic if you think she should put her social life on hold while she is with you. There are ways to get involved in her life instead, as Mumof4sons says. It is unrealistic to expect her to be involved in yours (if you see the difference) because she is not a little girl any more and is naturally spreading her wings and developing a life of her own. Dinner once a week would be a nice way to have some private time with her, but teens are not always chat-happy at the dinner table and you might find it awkward sitting there and having her shrug or say 'I don't know' repeatedly when you try to converse. Do you keep in touch by phone/text? Do you get news from school -- her schedule of classes, her teachers' names, notification of sports events or other extracurricular activities she is involved in?