Three children...?

[ccj2011]

...what's it like? I have two lovely boys (3.5 and 13 months) who I love to bits. I am a full time mum and, truth be told, I find them demanding yet very rewarding. I am exhausted most of the time as they are absolutely FULL of energy. Tantrums, screams, running, jumping, battles over dinner - you know how it is!

I can't believe that I am even considering a third but as my youngest gets older I feel like one more child may make our little family complete. I am also wondering whether we should start TTC sooner rather than later so that I can have the children close in age. I want to go back to work at some stage and don't want to spend too long away from work. I also fear if I leave it too much longer the thought of starting all over again would be too much.

I would love to hear what people think. Did you always want three? Do you 'regret' it or best thing ever? Is the leap from 2 to 3 easier or more challenging? Do you now find it financially draining? Does the middle one somehow miss out? What advice would you give?

Part of me would love to do it again but the other half wonders if I would feel like we have spread ourselves too thin - both emotionally and financially... My husband is keen but has the same worries.

Thanks

Thanks so much for all your comments. Appreciated with much food for thought.

3 here! Now 18/16/12 but 3 school years each time iyswim!

The bigger gap (3.5 years between ds and dd2 ) was really quite easy. I had 1 at school and 1 at nursery when she was born. We had less of the " not enough hands to go round" moments.

We haven't really had the " one will get left out" thing- it doesn't happen, or the " middle child won't be special" at all ( helped I guess as he is the only boy).

What we have had is really generally great bunch who get on well even now, and haven't " needed" other kids eg when we were on holiday.

Worst holiday we ever had was with a 2.5yr old and 5yr old the summer before dd2 was born. That still lives on in memory as the most hard work - ever!

I'm the middle of three (older sister, younger brother) and I'd love three myself. It seems the perfect number for me although DH disagrees and only wants two! I might have to work on him a little bit as his only reasoning behind this is the fact that when they're playing up and you have one in each hand, you don't have anything else to protect your "area" - feeble excuse I think!

Have three, there can never be too much love!

I am the third of three, and DH is the first of three. We all (both sets of siblings) got on really well when little and it was fun. But I struggled to find an identity as an adult and DH's little brother is the same. So pre-children I thought I would stop at two. I think I will push for three now though. I just think that special care is needed to make sure that everyone remains sane :)

It is hard work and logistically a headache for things like activities as they get older (mine are now 11, almost 9 and 6) but yes, it's a lot of fun and I love having a small pile of kids. A partner who is fully on board with the need to be a chauffeur/social secretary at the weekends is essential as well, IMO, and that took a fair amount of negotiation with dh (even though he's one of 4). There was one year - when ds1 was in Reception/Y1, dd was in half days at nursery and ds2 was still a baby and then starting to toddle - when I was on my knees with tiredness and stress, back and forth to school and nursery while still feeding ds2 and trying to let him have reasonable naps etc, while trying to respond to dd and ds1 as well. That was very tough, but since then it has got easier every year. They are thick as thieves and great friends now (despite the boys' constant fighting ) so I get to leave them to it a lot of the time.

Mine are now 7, 5 and 3. In the early days I'd say that I found 3 MUCH harder work than 2 (despite many people saying a third would just slot in without me hardly noticing!). Partly I think that it was an age gap thing as DD1 didn't start school until DS was 5 months old and even then the school run horror (DD1 to school, DD2 to half days at nursery, back and forth all the time - like wilbur describes above) was almost harder than having all 3 of them at home and I was in pieces. Now they are older though I'm pleased that they are close in age - tougher at the start, easier as you go on. It is hard juggling all of their demands and sometimes a bit overwhelming, but it is totally great too. Having a third totally changed the dynamic of our family for the better and once we were through the first 6 months or so everything became easier and easier. I love it.

I always wanted 4 children - not sure if it says something that after having had no.3 I revised that wish and there is no way we are having another!