Since having kids I feel vulnerable all the time, is this normal?

[Megamum42]

I have 2 kids -a toddler and a baby. I think I feel vulnerable as I feel I am responsible for 2 human beings that are completely dependent on me. I feel scared that something will happen to one of them if I take my 'eye off the ball' for a moment.

Does anyone else feel like this?

All the time - and I have a very active imagination. I think it's 'normal'; at least that's what I tell myself.

Yes, I totally understand

How much does it affect your daily life though ? If you can put it out of your mind and get on with going out and about and doing normal things, it will fade as they get older

if it curtails your life though, or you find yourself withdrawing from activities that frighten you (but really shouldn't) then I advise you to have a chat with your GP or HV as you may have PND

I feel like this sometimes too. I have a 6 week old ds and I got felt so protective taking him out earlier. I had this irrational fear someone would come and stab him with a knife. :( sorry that sounds horrible written down. I just feel like I want to protect him from the evil in the world.

I no longer watch the news and I censor books and films that may make me 'dwell' on things or upset me. Oddly I was ok after DD1 was born but then DD2 arrived and was extremely poorly when a few weeks old - nearly losing her made me obsess about everything and it took a while before I managed to find ways to cope with that. Avoiding the news is one of my coping strategies.

I used to feel like this, particularly after I had my second as I felt that if anything happened I couldn't pick them both up and run with them at the same time. I also used to worry that if I accidentally drove the car into a river I wouldn't be able to get them both out. I don't know if this was normal (seeing it written down it doesn't look very normal!) but in my case it did fade over time.

Thanks so much for your replies. I felt vulnerable when I only had one child as I felt overwhelmed. With the second I feel more confident in looking after her practically, but I feel vulnerable as I cant always look at both of them at once and I worry someone may steal my baby or that my toddler will slip under the bars on a bridge and fall into the river and that I wouldnt be able to save him as I maybe too scared to jump in after him.

Yes I completely understand this feeling too. I've also had to filter the news stories I listen to or think about.

I also feel vulnerable about something happening to me... but only in the sense that I cannot bear the thought of not being there for DS.

As someone who used to demonstrate a distinctly slapdash attitude towards her own mortality it's a strange and uncomfortable feeling.

I have 3 under 5 & feel exactly as you say in your Op. It doesn't curtail me in any way, but every night before going to bed I thank God for them & pray he keeps them safe (& I actually am not sure I believe in God ). I also feel fear when the baby has an excessively long nap & don't want to go into the room to check on him. I do obviously, but stress about it.

I think there's a saying about once you have children, it means your heart is walking around outside of your body. I think that's very true .

Oh yes feel like this too and it's got worse after each one (I have four) today I had to look round twice in the car to make sure I hadn't forgotten one, I'm paranoid when I'm out me and all four that I will lose one.

Also have the thoughts about them drowning too crap isn't it?

This may sound strange but the way I cope with the vulnerable feelings is to figure out what I would do in any of the situations that may, by some extremely remote chance, occur. So I have a plan for the car going into a river (not alone there Arctic), one for a house fire, one for earthquakes etc. Will now add one for slipping under the bars of a bridge... I accept that it's not totally rational but I find I'm happier if I'm slightly prepared. This may not be the best approach but it seems to work for me.

I have these thoughts and fears too, usually someone throwing the DC's into the canal whilst strapped in the pushchair, of someone/or dog attacking us and not being able to protect them both. Glad its not just me. I also plan what I could do in each situation as it gives me a sense of control. DH thinks i'm slightly mad!

Yes but it should be a manageable fear. Not dominating your life or spoiling your happiness in being a mother. Only you know if it's excessive.