Birthday Party 5 yr old - do we invite everyone in her class?

[shebird]

DD turns 5 next month and we are planning her party. Up to now we have got away with small parties with just family and a few friends for tea but this year wants a big party as most of her friends have had one and invited the whole class. She has named about 18 out of 30 in her class to invite but should I invite the lot to avoid any upset or just take the on the chin and save some money?

I'd say go for half class or less, or Full class. But don't leave out just one or to girls and invite rest.

It depends what kind of party. We booked a hall and had an entertainer who said he was fine with any size group up to 40. So really the cost of the party was the same no matter how many kids came (except food/party bags but you can do these quite cheap) so we invited the whole class. If it had been a soft play party ir similar where you pay per child we would have limited it to about 10-15 kids.

I agree with Hulababy if you dont invite the whole class make sure to not invite a significant number not just 1 or 2 that way it is obvious to the parents and kids it is a small party and they haven't been the only one left out.

Agree with Hulababy. Half or less, or the whole class. We always go for whole class as I hate leaving anyone out .

We invited the whole class to my DS's 5th birthday party in a hall.

Of the 22 DC in his class, DS wanted to invite 18 and I couldn't leave 4 children out. He had only just started Reception and I didn't know who he was friendly with. Two of the parents (of the 4 not originally mentioned) were a pain in the bum - no good deed goes unpunished.

My DS gets upset now if he isn't invited to a party - as he wanted everyone, he thinks it is very unfair. Parties are a massive thing to him; he won't get invited to everything. Overall, I am glad we did it; seeing him with his class was lovely. Next year birthday tea, bowling or pictures for a few.

18/30 is about half and so I would stick to a smaller number.

I suppose once you set a precendent then you'll need to stick to that from the age of five as they'll expect something bigger and better each year...

lovechoc - not necessarily. IME parties vary year from year for DD and all her friends, and parties often get smaller as they get older too, esp once in juniors.

DS1 is 5 later this month and wants to camp out in the back garden with his Dad for his birthday. He hasn't really made an issue out of a party so we've kept our mouths shut and happy to go with a quiet family affair - cheaper and no pressure for us to organise anything. I could not imagine anything worse than organising a child's birthday party!!

I think 18/30 is okay, actually. I say that as parent to kids who rarely get invited anywhere. >20/30 would start getting obviously exclusive.

DD soon attending a party where I think the birthday girl has invited all but one girl from her class. That IS pants.

My DS was the only boy in the class not invited to party - all the other boys from the class were invited. He was gutted; not what I would do.

Parents of this boy left him alone at my ds's party, (not the norm here but fine). They were very late picking him up and not in the least bit apologetic. I wish I could choose my DS's friends .

Like ragged, I think that 18/30 is not necessarily wrong, but it very much depends on the detail, eg if 18=all the girls in the class plus a couple of boys then I think that's fine. If 18=(say) all but one or all but two girls in the class, not fine.

It's tricky as at these age friendships can be fickle. Had planned to invite all the girls(12) 6 boys plus 2 from outside school. Assuming not all will a accept the invitation then that's roughly half I guess. Im just terrified of the thought of 30 children in place even though it's in a hall with organised entertainment I just fear chaos.

Shebird, from your last post I really think your plan to invite 18 is fine and you shouldn't feel obliged to invite everyone in the class. You are inviting all the girls in the class, and there will actually be more boys in the class who don't get invited than who do, so (assuming you aren't ignoring any really close friends) I don't see that there will be any big upset caused for any boy who doesn't get an invite.

That sounds fine :)

We have just had a whole class party and it went really well!

It was noisy and a bit manic but great fun.

I think age 5 is the best age to do a big party. I am hoping next year he will have some closer friends and a smaller party!

I invited all the boys in my sons class and no girls (his choice)

I think that you are mad to have the whole class! Just let her choose her friends. I always restricted it to a max of 12 including the birthday DC-less is better.