We have two sons, aged 6 (7 in June) and 9 (10 in April)
My oldest son is causing me a great deal of worry on an ongoing basis. He has been badly bullied, he has a volatile temper, and can be quite mouthy and aggressive.
It has been a lot better between Christmas and now.
However, I am beginning to see a pattern, or behavioral traits if you like:
- He is nitpicking on other childrens behaviour, and using them as an excuse for his own bad mood/behaviour/rudeness/agression.
Like, today, he blamed that he does not like:
a) the way his younger brother sometimes wriggle his bottom "inappropriately" when he plays.
b) does not like the way his brother talks to himself when playing on the Nintendo
c) does not like how his brother has "ugly curls that itches on his face" if they put their heads together to look at something.
d) that his brother is repeatedly asking questions, such as "how much is 16.3".
All of the above is the reason why he is behaving badly, snapping, and mouthing off to me.
When I told him that all of the above was more his own problem, because he should just ignore it rather than let it annoy him, he literally blew a fuse and told me he hates me, does not want to live with me, see me, or be anywhere near me, because I always defend his brother, and never him.
I honestly dont think I can defend him, as we would all thread on eggshells in case we irritate him. He should learn to be more accepting and tolerant, and ignore his brothers irritating habits, rather than expecting us to bow to his demands.
- Oldest son will on a regular basis lose him self into giggling fits and will keep annoying his brother, by poking him, tickling him, taking his sweets, etc, and no matter how much we ask him to stop, he wont. It is like he ignores us totally and dont care. Especially if we are in the car. In fact, we have had numerous near accidents because of his behaviour in the car. Sometimes, stuff gets thrown to the front, really startling the driver.
He himself is therefore guilty of exactly the same, no worse, behaviour than what he is accusing his brother of. His brother will just tell him "Stop, I dont like this. " So we intervene if it is does not stop.
There is a difference though, if ds1 keeps poking ds2, we have to ask him to stop, as it is annoying behaviour directed especially at ds2.
If ds1 is talking to himself when playing nintendo, this does not bother anybody, and is not directed especially at ds1 and meant to annoy him.
Ds2 is however guilty of constantly asking "how much is 16.3", which clearly amuses him, especially as he gets a new explanation each time. So I guess we can ask him to stop this particular question??
However, if it is not that particular question annoying ds1, I am sure he will complain about something else!! He always does? Especially if he is accused of rudeness, or moodiness, then he will be sure to list endless reasons why he is annoyed with his brother, and the brother is therefor to blame!
He seems to be totally unable to say "sorry, I am grumpy today" He must blame somebody else.
I find this worrying.
What do you think?