How do you explain to your DC why they can't do something when they see younger children doing it?

[ceebeegeebies]

I had a discussion with DS1 (Yr 1) the other day about why he wasn't allowed to walk to breakfast club at school by himself yet X (who is in Reception) is - I was a bit stumped tbh about how to justify it

The reason is that I don't think DS1 is old enough to do it by himself yet (the door to breakfast club is right round the back of the school) whereas X's mum thinks X is (which I don't have a problem with at all) but not sure how I can justify it to DS1 who is very hung up about people's ages and what they can do!

I don't think you need to justify it. Everyone has different views, and different rules, and that is just how it is. Your DS must have been to other peoples houses and seen that their rules are slightly different to yours at home. I think it is a lesson they have to learn.

Personally though I can't see how any reception child is anywhere near old enough to walk to school on their own. I take it this child is not crossing any roads on the way, I'd find that quite terrifying!

Sorry, my OP wasn't clear. They aren't walking to school by themselves - just from where we park the cars which is outside the front of the school but, as I said, breakfast club is literally round the back of the school so it is a good 2 minute walk from the road (but no roads to be crossed).

Ah, that's a relief, I was imagining a 4 or 5 year old walking to school alone!

Just tell him that you make the rules for him and x's mum makes the rules for x.

You can apply that to everything in the coming years. You don't need to justify the rules you make to him. Id make that clear to him otherwise he'll never stop going on!

Just tell him that different people have different rules -- there will be stuff some other people are allowed to do that he isn't and also stuff he's allowed to do that some other people aren't. That's just how life is. You don't need to explain beyond that (you should be able to explain the rationale behind individual rules, just not why other people don't have the same rules)

You just have to tell them that different houses (or different parents) have different rules.

My 10 yr does this I just say to her if X was to jump off a cliff would you? her normal sarky reply is no i go well then don't expect me to follow her/his mum

That normally dumdfounds her enough for me to change the topic

I tried that with DS once. He said "No. [pause] Well, actually, yes, I probably would...".

That's the way we do things in this family is what I say.

But if it's on school grounds not sure why you think he's too young if he wants to?

i tell dd all parents have different rules and she does not need to be worried about what others do as she is probably allowed to do things others are not. swings and round abouts I tell her and she laughs as she has no idea what swings and round abouts mean, lol!!

she also likes to oik her judgy pants up when she asks if I was so and sos mummy would I let them do x y and z and I say with mocked abhorent shock no way that is terrible/not acceptable/disgusting parenting, she laughs at that too.