Wrong school for DTS? He's only 3 but unsociable??

[Jaffacakeeater]

Please help. My B/G twins have been at an independent school since Sept after they turned 3. They are July born and subsequently the youngest in the year, bar one other girl. The way this school works is that kids start Nursery on or after their third birthday. As a result, my twins missed the entire Nursery year and started straight into Kindergarten. They've been ok and settled in well, however at the last parent consultation the teacher mentioned that DTS was still only playing "alongside" other children rather than directly interacting with them. I took this as normal but was worried he wasn't making friends. After some research, I realised that six of the ten boys in his class were born in September and October. I am worried that he is unable to mix because of this. He is so sociable with anyone that is older or younger but seems to avoid his own age group.

They are 3 . My DS didn't start interacting properly until he started in Reception aged 5!

I would worry about a school that a) insists on children starting at 3 and b) doesn't realise that 3yos do play alongside each other rather than with each other. Did the teacher just mention it, as is letting you know but not making any kind of issue about it, or did she raise it as a concern?

The age gap will get less important with age - there's a huge gap between 3 and 4. If the school is good otherwise and your DS is happy, I'd give it another year before I started to worry about any socialising issues.

Echo Annie - mine started in Nursery at 3. They all developed at different rates - but this playing 'with' or 'alongside' is just one observation they make. I wouldn't be concerned, plenty of time yet...

I also think boys interact differently than girls. Especially the interaction with peers. My 3YO little boy much prefers elder children / adults to children his own age, whereas my 2YO little girl much prefers children the same age as herself.

My 2YO starts at an indepedant prep in September, but doesn't turn 3 till August so she will be the youngest in the class but she is like her mother a bit of a diva and she will cope perfectly.

However, I didn't send my 3YO son last September (also a summer baby) as he just wasn't ready for what the school expected. Actually, I'm not at all sure he is now and the school have been very good at giving us some extra time to decide whether to give him another year at nursery (rather than pre-prep IYSWIM) or look for a different school all together.

Anyway, it sounds perfectly normal and reasonable to me, but the school should be talking to you about their thoughts on the matter.