Ds and his mate am I being taken for a mug

[ravenheart]

He is ds's best mate from school and I have him over alot in the school holidays as his mom works fulltime.
Sometimes I have him overnight or will get up and collect him at 8.00am in the morning so she can get off to work.
Ds is an only so I like the fact that he has the mate here to play with.
Sometimes I have taken them somewwhere such as soft play and I always pay for the friend everywhere we go even give him money for the shop if they both want to nip to the shop and of course I am feeding him sometimes 3 times a day.
His mom never sends any money even if its just a littel bit of pocket money anything.
She has on the odd occasion offered but feeling guilty I haven't always taken it although soemtimes I have wanted to.
Members of my family think its wrong and that she is taking advantage of me, I have mentioned that there has been the very odd occasion she has offered something and I have said no but they say she should just give it anyway without asking.
Sometimes if I have taken them somewhere she will say I will give you some money back for that but I never do get any but then I feel that it was my choice to take them anyway so shouldn,t expect it.
I don,t like to see them both stuck on xbox games when they are here so have tried to encourage them outside but they are saoon back on the xbox so I have resorted to taking them somewhere instead.
She hardly ever invites ds over to hers either.
So am I being a mug honest answers please.

yes, a bit.

invite this friend over when it suits you, but if you don't want to be shelling out for them stop taking the boys out and stop inviting him over so often.

Yes you're being a mug! Providing free childcare AND paying all his expenses!

Oh and does she return the favour?

If not ask her to have yours for a day at the weekend. Perhaps overnight on the Friday so you can go out then all day Saturday so you can chill out after your long week of providing free childcare. Her response will tell you what sort of friend she is.

Yes.

Well yes, but are you asking him to come over all the time or is she asking you? Or does he just keep turning up uninvited?

A couple of mums I know go a bit ott with the asking ds over. They insist to the point where it's very hard to refuse. It's really nice but I can't keep up with the rematches and have started saying no.

She should be giving you some sort of contribution, but then you say you didn't take it when she offered which leaves the whole 'arrangement' without any parameters and her not knowing where she stands.

I think you should stop feeling guilty and speak up or you will begin to feel resentful both about the amount of time you're having him and the money.

Yes. DS had a friend like this. He used to come over weekly for tea. The friends mum never once reciprocated. So I stopped it. He come round maybe once a month now. DS is not too fussed. He has another friend who we take to the cinema etc. But his mum is lovely and takes my DS out with them too. I think it has to go both ways at least sometimes.