Help, I'm feeling like a crap mother

[GeorginaA]

Is it just me that has days where I really just can't be bothered with the whole thing? Ds is 2.5 and really quite a sweetie, but I really wish I could just go back to bed or browse the web or anything that didn't require being interactive mummy today. This feeling is becoming more and more frequent as winter sets in too.

We're going out this afternoon for tumbletots and he goes to nursery and playgroups (has something every day we go to) so he's not being completely deprived of interactive stuff plus some days I can be really good at activities and being the play slave.

But today the TV has gone on, I just want to hibernate and I'm generally feeling very crap about it. I'm letting him down (although he doesn't seem that fussed, lol).

Simple ideas for entertainment/interaction that doesn't involve much effort, holds my interest as well as his, and doesn't involve going out in the cold this morning, anyone? please?

Georgina ... snap ... I felt rotten today too ... I just thought I don't want to be a mummy today ...
I will be watching this thread to see what suggestions anyone comes up with ... and hope someone can suggest something for a 4 year old whose mother is useless at doing anything at the moment due to discomfort of pregnancy ...
Thinking of you
Ghosty

Chill, Georgina! You (and he) are allowed to slob sometimes - don't have to do stuff all the time. It sounds as if he has a very full life most of the time.

I used to withdraw a lot, esp in the winter (hibernation has always appealed to me, think I have a bear in my ancestry) and my kids have turned out OK. (Well, OK-ish )

I don't mind slobbing sometimes, but it just feels like it's becoming more and more frequent and I feel horrible about it. He knows better than me the schedule on Cbeebies which gave me a bit of a wake up call really.

I think you're right about the pregnancy thing Ghosty - I'm 14 weeks and maybe that's a lot of it, my hormones are completely up the spout and I know I've become less interactive since (poor kid, hasn't got the sibling yet and already mummy has less attention for him ) Also the whole winter thing really takes the inclination away to say "sod this, let's go to the playground"... shivers with cold and turns up the heating. Yes, I'm a wuss.

I'm also aware that this has been a busy month (of my own making) which has meant I've had no free time to myself really so I just keep thinking of stuff I'd rather be doing, which is horrible.

I agree with Janh GeorginaA, give yourself a break (esp since you're pregnant) and don't worry. He's happy, so that's good and they really don't need constant stimulation IMO. I think a lot of the time they just like the fact that you're there in the same room. There was a thread on 'things you can do with your kids that give you the chance to read Heat' or something like that, I'll see if I can find it

Ah, it wasn't called that, it was called How shall I entertain my child today? but I prefer my title!

Georgina, I didn't know you were pregnant, that will make it even harder to get going. Don't know if you have had nausea as well as the inevitable exhaustion but at 14 weeks, with a bit of luck, you should gradually start picking up and feeling better - IIRC!

Don't beat yourself up about it - this is a small period of his life overall. How about playing doctors? (You be the patient and lie down a lot. Or is he too little to play that yet? Can't remember )

Thanks www - I prefer your title too

Fortunately the nausea was short lived - and to be honest most of the exhaustion now is self-inflicted because I seem to be crap at getting to bed on time

I suppose I really ought to get him out of pyjamas soon too... argh.

Oh G . Sorry you are feeling poo today, but having met you and seen you with DS I can confirm that you are NOT a crap mother (remember Mr Crocodile ? ). Can ds play eye spy yet, perhaps using colours rather than letters ?

He does like eye spy actually ("something that's coloured..." that's a good idea.

Definitely give yourself a break. You sound like you are doing loads of stuff and we all need time to chill, even two year olds. With this cold dark weather we've been watching Cbeebies a lot. (cue: "mummy! It IS Tikkabilla, it IS!". He sits on my lap quite often and we veg out together. Then sometimes we try to make a craft thing inspired by Tikkabilla. He's particularly fond of sticking things, which is quiet and indoor. TBH I quite often read the paper during both activities.

For Christ sakes girl your pregant - you don't have to be interactive Mummy all the time. You are actually teaching him important life skills such as self reliance and learning to enjoy his own company

I remember having a bad cold one day and fretting that I'd dying on the sofa and DS would be bored. But then my friend with grown-up children came round and told me not to worry - kids like it when you're snuggly instead of rushing around all day. I think, these days, we have gone 'stimulation-crazy'.

It sounds like you pack plenty into the week already, with playgroups, etc, so perhaps you need to build a chill-out time into your week. I was quite frenetic, activity-wise, with DS1 - but it was unsustainable. DS2 has a much more home-based life.

When I was pg with DS2 I used to stick a Disney DVD/video in, one with nice 'go to sleep Mummy' music, maybe Tarzan, make sure DS1 had a drink, something to eat then I would snuggle down on the sofa and have about an hour's dozing. Granted my DS1 was slightly older than yours but I was never in a deep sleep, you could always position the sofa across the livingroom door so he can't get out. I found that I was much more energetic in the middle of my pregnancy and we did things together more then I slowed down towards the end again. If he doesn't seem fussed then I wouldn't worry about it if I were you, just take the chance for a rest while you can have it.

Also agree with Droile, my DS2 has a much more home based life too.