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Parenting

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Original poster

List of things dc1 (age 5) could learn to do independently before dc2 arrives

14 replies

smongesmonge · 27/03/2012 21:38

Hi,

Ds is 5.5 and I am, all going well, expecting dc2 at the end of november. At this point ds will have just turned 6. People often say the good thing about a big age gap is that the older dc can do alot for themselves freeing you up to take care of the baby. So I think he's doing fairly well but wonder what all those with with a young baby would appreciate their older dc being able to do. At the moment my main focus is on getting him to dress himself in the morning. He can do it of course but is too lazy . I think that that would be a real help on school mornings when I have a little one to think of. Any other suggestions would be great! Thanks .

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OctopusSting · 27/03/2012 21:42

My DD1 (5.4) has to:

Dress herself
Lay the breakfast table
Open her curtains/blind and close them in the evening
Make sure she has her book bag & packed lunch for school
Get her coat and school shoes when asked not for the third time
Put her dirty clothes in the wash basket
Put her own seatbelt on and off
Run up/downstairs to fetch stuff when i have forgotten it

ggirltwin2pinot · 27/03/2012 21:42

yes dress himself
coat and shoes on , and put away when home
can be relied on to stand still when you're trying to put baby seat in car
answer phone or bring phone to you
feed pets
make his bed
tidy up toys
fetch nappies etc
entertain baby ..dd was 11 when ds was born and she was fab at this

OctopusSting · 27/03/2012 21:43

yy to feed pets & tidy up toys before TV can go on

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Original poster

smongesmonge · 27/03/2012 21:52

Ok, I think he's doing pretty ok so far.

Lay the breakfast table - He does this and makes his own breakfast.
Open her curtains/blind and close them in the evening - Can't with weird type he has!
Make sure she has her book bag & packed lunch for school - Not applicable
Get her coat and school shoes when asked not for the third time - Does this
Put her dirty clothes in the wash basket - Does this
Put her own seatbelt on and off - Does this
Run up/downstairs to fetch stuff when i have forgotten it - Does this
coat and shoes on , and put away when home - Doesn't put them on in the morning but does put them away properly.
can be relied on to stand still when you're trying to put baby seat in car - He could do this most likely
answer phone or bring phone to you - Hmm, never tried this, that's something I can work on.
feed pets - Not applicable!
make his bed - He has done it once or twice, I can work on this.
tidy up toys - Does this
fetch nappies etc - He could do,but may find it too boring perhaps?
entertain baby - No idea , he pretty much ignores his young cousin though.

How do you motivate a child to dress themselves?

OP posts:

OctopusSting · 27/03/2012 21:58

No breakfast

ggirltwin2pinot · 27/03/2012 22:03

motivate to get dressed by not allowing them out of their room and downstairs until they are dressed ,well they can have a wee
gets to be a habit

Original poster

smongesmonge · 27/03/2012 22:09

This morning I insisted he dressed himself or I would take him to school in his jimjams! It all ended up a big shouting mess . I put him in his room and told him he couldn't go to school. He cried lots and put on his clothes. So perhaps threatening that he can't go to school if he's not dressed might work. But what happens if he stops wanting to go to school ? But yes, it has to become a habit so that he does it without a fight.

It is definately a problem with things like getting him dressed on days we are going to tesco for example, he has no motivation at all then and it's a right fight.

I want to sort out any things like this early in the pregnancy so he doesn't know they are linked to the new baby.

OP posts:

OctopusSting · 27/03/2012 22:15

I am not one who favours TV in the morning, BUT could you say once he is up, dressed, washed, breakfasted and teeth cleaned he can have some TV/DVD/Favourite thing before school?

ggirltwin2pinot · 27/03/2012 22:20

my dd was exactly the same about getting dressed
i did take her to nursery once in her pjs
she was suitably embarrassed and things did improve
trouble was she was a very early riser and got up before me and snuck down to watch telly
so we made rule of telly only after she was dressed/breakfast eaten /teeth etc and book bag ready
usually ended up with about 10 mins of telly

Original poster

smongesmonge · 27/03/2012 22:36

I find ds is very 'in the moment' so we purposefully wake him later for school so that he doesn't get time to play in the mornings. We have found that on the mornings when there is any free time that he starts playing and then we have to have a whole tantrum to get him away from his toys. So unless that changes I don't want to go to a 'get dressed and then you can play for ten mins' type situation. Sorry to be so awkward . Part of the problem is that he is not a morning person I think, I have to wake him at 8am .

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Original poster

smongesmonge · 27/03/2012 22:37

I did take him to school once in pjs ! He tried to hide himself behind me from his teacher!

OP posts:

slacklucy · 27/03/2012 22:41

Smongesmonge, can i swap him for my 12 yr old please, he wounds more helpful.

Letchladeee · 31/03/2012 17:58

I have a 5 year old DD and she can:

Dress herself (clothes are laid out the night before and she gets herself up and dressed each morning)

Get her own breakfast (again bowls, cereal etc is all laid out the night before)

Make her own bed (only a duvet to flip back)

Tidy her own bedroom (once a week)

Put old clothes in her dirty washing basket

Take own belongings (book bag etc) to school (again it is laid out her!)

Brush her own hair, and if needed she can put it into a pony tail.

She cleans her own teeth in the mornings, we do it at night (disclosing tablets are great for teaching them how to do this properly!)

Get her own shoes and coat on.

In terms of helping around the house she can:
Lay the dinner table (set out knives, forks etc)
Pour drinks (from a jug I put on the table)
Help do some dusting etc...
If pushed, she can also make a sandwich, although I wouldn't want to eat it myself .

I believe in independent children - so have raised both of mine that pretty much, at 5 she is able to get herself up and ready for school each day. Dd's teacher really likes it too!

Letchladeee · 31/03/2012 18:03

With the getting dressed thing ...

Our routine is that clothes and breakfast stuff is laid out ... If our Dds get up, get dressed, get their breakfast, brush their hair etc each morning then they earn 50p pocket money. If they tidy up their room on a Sunday, they get the other 50p to make it a £1. Each day they don't follow the routine, they lose 10p pocket money.

We also do not have the tv on in the mornings. But I work, so we only have one hour between getting up and leaving the house in the mornings, so everything has to be ship shape and organised, otherwise I'm late for work.

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