Ok, so posted this thread last week
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1434867-Need-advice-10-yr-old-DS-behaviour-issues
Divorced from EXH 6/7 yrs ago. Have 2 DS - 10 & 13.
Amicable relationship on the surface and for the kids with ExH. He sees them every other weekend, and picks them up from school for 3 days a week, I pick them up from him when I finish work. Shared holiday care. We live 10 minutes away from each other.
He has never paid any maintenance for them (6 times maybe in 7 years), but I've never witheld contact.
I re-married in December, prior to this we had lived together, DP and DS's for over a year, things there are fine IMO. Youngest DS was best man, eldest DS gave me away. DS "loves" his Step Dad, and loves to spend time with him - they have a shared interest in cars and all things daft. DP sees him as a "mini-me".
EXH has a partner also, they have been together for 6/7 yrs, but don't live together. No issues there I like her and the kids like her as well.
My son has always been dramatic and emotional, got worse over the last 12-18 months, and are now coming to a head. (EXH has inferred it's because of DP)
Am getting help for this via school and an educational assessment.
So - after a weekend with their Father (1 day of which they spent with their step sister as EXH played golf all day), picked youngest up last night.
In the bath, he began crying, very upset proper tears, snot and everything. At first he said he didn't know why he was upset, 10 minutes later he said he did know why he was upset. He said his Dad had asked him did he want to go and live with him! (EXH not working). He said he misses his Dad when he's with me, and misses me when he's with his Dad.
Now I won't be shallow enough to state categorically that this is about money, but EXH has already asked me can he claim child benefit when I lose it! If DS went to live with him, I would have to pay him maintenance, and effectively he wouldn't need to work. (He's hardly worked in the last 6 yrs anyway!)
How do I handle this? I accept EXH "may" be concerned about DS, but his behaviour is unsettling him more. I don't know how to handle this without getting really angry. I'm already at the edge of upset constantly because of DS behavioural issues/assessment coming up, and I already feel I've failed him!
(Sorry it's so long didn't want to drip feed).