what are your rules around watching TV...

[mummy23x]

Do you let your children sit for hours in the morning after they have woken watching TV for example from 7.30 am to 10.00 - 11.00 am??

I have a DS1 aged 7 DSS aged 3 DS2 aged 6 months and another baby due in October. Although we do things as a family, I feel the children excluding 6 month old, should be able to entertain themselves without feeling like TV is there main source of entertainment...

I'd be interested to hear how other mums and dads do this..... :)

Isolated in school Hasn't happened yet. But if it does I promise I'll buy him a huge TV with 3D and 250 channels.

We have no tv in the mornings and very little any other times. My kids are 8 and 2, neither of them watch it routinely.

DS1 watches a bit if he asks once DS2 is in bed, but this is only maybe once a week. DS2 watches a bit if I want to cook and he isn't entertaining himself.

There is the odd thing me and DS1 will watch as a series, he likes nature things and stuff like human planet.

I think here because we only watch tv if we have nothing better to do (if I weren't stuck in due to kids I wouldn't be watching anyway) the kids see it as a last resort too. I expect that will change when they are teenagers - I know I was not interested as a child but as a teenager much more keen!

I think games consoles are v addictive though, I was mad for them when I was younger, so intend not to get them for as long as possible.

Oh, but I realise I have not counted the times where I have a cuppa and watch crap relaxing tv like Secret Agent or Deal Or No Deal with DS2 in attendance but doing his own thing!

We don't have a no screen policy or anything.

We have recently addressed this in my house as I was noticing that on the days when my 8 yr old son, watched as much TV as he liked ( and that was a lot), he was vile. My daughter can take it or leave it anyway so it was mainly about him and trying to find some balance. He now has access to 'electronics' for between an hour and 2 a day and I have seen a dramatic improvement in his behaviour and in his ability to get on with his sister, which has got to be a good thing. Also, when and if I want to relax the rules on a bad weather weekend day or something and watch a bit extra, he really appreciates it. I reckon it's all about finding a good balance which works well for you and your family and this is working well for us at the moment.

The main rule about telly in our house is that once my bum touches the sofa and the DCs are in bed, the chances are it will remain glued there until I fall asleep and go to bed. I'll then stomp about crossly, muttering about things I should have done and haven't, having spent a couple of hours scrolling up and down the EPG in a futile search for something to watch.

mummy23x that's interesting that you agree from experience. And niminypiminy like your DH I grew up without a telly (the only one in my school without) so I know that socially it's not great, also my general knowledge suffered.

...but I did certainly grow up to be creative, am a professional musician. Wouldn't have done all those hours of practice if I'd have been glued to Eastenders every night.

I was the only one in the primary school class without a television (that I knew of). but it didn't seem to matter much. i don't remember feeling excluded because of it (excluded for other reasons, perhaps, like my mum allowing me to go to school dressed in her clothes... or in my pajamas and slippers... or in a tutu and wellington boots...). mind you this was back in the seventies, and I'm not sure how much television was actually watched then - it certainly wasn't the centre of life. I don't remember watching it when I went over to friends houses to play.

likeshavingarest.... you went to school in your mums clothes?? or pajamas and slippers? poor thing, why did she do that?

mumsmellsofsick...I used to make a big deal of my DS1 not eating junk food, then when he was around 5, if whilst visiting his father he'd had a McDonalds or some kind of junk food he would find great pleasure in telling me, he'd also ask for salt on his food etc, now he that he is older and understands it more he is much better and I do allow a chocolate friday/treat day so it makes it something to look forward to.

Also as a child I was always told I couldnt do this and couldnt do that, punished all the time for such trivial things and it made me completely rebel so I guess that is why I feel that balance and moderation is so important....I could be completely wrong but the prove is in the pudding x

We have a 'no tv in the morning' rule unless they're poorly as I have enough trouble getting them out of the house in time for work as it is. They generally watch something when we get in around 6 - but usually a dvd or on iPlayer, so I had more control over it when they were tiny. Dd1 has now not only learned how to put the dvd player on, she's taught dd2 so that's backfired a bit. At the weekend they probably watch a couple of hours a day. Dh is much more strict with tv than I am but then he doesn't actually spend much time with the children so he's given to airy pronouncements about discipline and improving activities.

That's the thing though, I expected some sort of backlash from DS who is already 10, but he doesn't want to watch TV at his friends houses. If he is offered to watch something on IPlayer he usually says no thanks and chooses something else. (The only thing he loves is Horrible Histories). He's also been raised on a healthy diet and won't touch McDonalds food. Maybe it will all come at once in adolescence

Personally I agree with the poster above who advocates moderation & NOT an actual ban, same with food, we too are a healthy eating household I'm a health food and healing nutrition freak

I remember too well my friend when I was a young teen, brought up in a full on, right on, no TV, militant, meat is murder veggie, healthfoody parents, amazing kitchen with jars on display of the most amazing pulses, herbs etc - the kitchen inspired me & I didn't come from a junk food background ,

but the minute my friend was out of her parents sight, she literally stuffed her face with EVERYTHING, she was told not to - she could down 3 burgers a go & was the out & out carnivore, junk food freak - you also couldn't get her away from our TV, or anyones TV, she would watch any old crap, just because she could - her parents never knew though, because they trusted they had brainwashed her enough to stick to their rules - they hadn't, it was just something else to rebel against & boy did she rebel

So I prefer to take a more liberal approach with DD as she is an equally stubborn moo as my old friend

It is a fair point rockinhippy although, that said, I had no TV until I was in my teens and couldn't have cared less and can take it or leave it now. I was quite happy without it and if I went to a friends house with TV I wasn't glued to it, though happy to watch it too. I read oodles but I really liked that so maybe it was just that i wasn't deprived of something I actually wanted. :)

likeshavingarest makes a good point - maybe it's an age thing, but I cannot remember ever watching TV when I went around to my friends' houses. I know that videos were still a new thing back in those days, is it different these days? Do children really sit down and watch TV at their friends' houses instead of playing in the garden or in their bedrooms?

You're right Gin I do think its more down to DCs personality & general preferences & I suppose we just have to feel our way in that as we go along -

As i said we do allow TV, though it's mostly monitored, but DD doesn't really seem to mind either way, enjoys it, but doesn't miss it IYSWIM - I've used banning it as a punishment/incentive in the past - she didn't even notice, not even with her favourite programmes, she just took herself off & did other stuff instead - so now its youth club, magazine money etc that gets a ban instead - that works, were TV etc didn't -

banning her weekend sweets etc doesn't work for her either

mummy23: oh yes. creative liberal parents. can't say i had many friends. still don't have much of a dress sense (and snow let my kids self dress and go out in whatever they want, even if it doesn't match and is half fancy dress - half pajamas...)

worldgonecrazy, my dd has a friend like that. Only thing she wants to do is play computer games or watch tv. She is allowed to at home so she is not desperate to do it because she is otherwise forbidden to. Dd really only likes to meet up with her outdoors because then her friend is fun to be around and they get up to a lot of mischief I have no doubt, but indoors all she wants to do is tv/pc which dd never really got into or has not yet. So they tend to meet up to go to the cinema or ice skating or something like that.

I thought maybe it was in reaction to school stress which this girl seems to have a lot of but it could just be a personality thing, independent of how parents handle it. Her mother is a journalist, her father is an artist and they are very political, having been imprisoned and tortured in their own country, are articulate, read a lot and are sociable people. That their dd can spend hours on end watching any old thing on tv is not down to their parenting IMO. Maybe it fulfils a need some dc have. Nothing wrong with the girl that I can see.

I agree ZZZ, some children naturally gravitate towards TV and screen time past times and others seem naturally to prefer to be active.

I'm very strict with my DC's, they watch one hour and a half once a week only on a Saturday when we watch a family film together. They never see the TV other than that. They are four and six. We've done this for the past four years.