Seriously considering jacking in the PhD and fed up with department

[NomNomNom]

Where do I start ...

Basically, I did well in the first yr of my PhD, then had a baby, took a yr off and came back part-time. Not funded.

Very small department, which hosts a conference every other year. Since the last conference there's been a 3-year gap as there were no new PhD students, and everyone apart from me had already organised one. I thought about suggesting that we have one anyway, as I was keen to get the experience, but ended up not brinig it up with my supervisor.

Now I have just heard that my supervisor has asked the 2 new PhD students (literally just started) to organise the next conference. An older (about to finish) student suggested asking me to monitor the email account - really??! So I could be sort-of-involved.

I am quite disappointing as I have been working recently to show my supervisor that I can take part in things, eg attending other conferences to give presentations etc.

I feel quite excluded, and hurt that my supervisor could exclude me to such an extent. We are only 3 PhD students, plus 3 who are submitting and have already organised a conference.

The conference committee traditionally consists of 2 people, so while I will of course say I'd be happy to do emails ad anything else that I can do, this will make me feel like I'm imposing when everyone thinks I'm rubbish and unreliable (my supervisor clearly thinks this).

A large part of my motivation for doing the PhD comes from wanting to work with my supervisor, so this has just completely destroyed my trust in her. I was planning to go to a very expensive (lots of travel) conference later this year, and now I really don't want to bother as I'd much rather spend the money on a trip to my home country (can't afford both).

AIBU to want to throw my toys out of the pram and quit my PhD?

I could say that, and I probably will. It just feels like a bit of a cop out because I won't tell them that their behaviour is the reason.

Well, bowing out gracefully and telling your supervisor the real reason probably doesn't go hand in hand.

Why not? I hope I can find a way of telling her that constantly being prevented from attending meetings is the reason without it sounding like a complaint/big whinge. Otherwise she'll think it's all fine and I'm the rubbish one.

Maybe I've misunderstood you. It sounds like you know what you want to do. and have decided to do it. Good luck. I agree that you should not be left out of meetings however I really don't think that experience in organising
conferences is going to have a huge impact on your academic career. Getting papers published will be what counts in the job stakes.

Well, I agree that publishing papers would probably be better, but organising this conference would mean building relationships with other academia as we have to invite keynote speakers. And there's a tradition of publishing some edited papers as a book (not just conference proceedings, usually a big publisher), which would be great for the cv...

Just have to chime in to agree that conference organising is a total waste of time. Sorry to be harsh, but you should listen to the advice you are being given on this thread:

• Don't bring it up with your supervisor - she won't care either way, and in fact she will probably be glad that you are no longer involved and can focus on your research.

• Edited book would NOT be great for the CV. This is American, but completely applicable to the UK too:

theprofessorisin.com/2011/08/02/should-i-do-an-edited-collection/

• The keynote speakers will not give two hoots about the PGs who organised the conference.

• If I were you, I would focus on finishing the PhD, publishing, and maybe getting to the odd research seminar. Can't your DH pick your DD up now and again?

PS I am not unsympathetic - it is hard enough doing a PhD, I remember it well, and I didn't have children at the time. The sexist nature of academia is also very frustrating. But if you want to continue in academia, you need to be ruthlessly focused on what matters.

Thanks, that's helpful. I am taking it all on board, it's just difficult adjusting my ideas because ive been thinking I'd organise a conference at some point since I started my phd.

Not sure many people in my department publish anything during their phd, so that would be good.

DD's dad can't pick her up on a regular basis as he'd have to finish work early, and doing that every single week would get a bit much for his employers!

I must say, I also want to make people (ie my supervisor) aware that people have been behaving IMO unreasonably, because it's really not on to schedule meetings for a time someone has explicitly said they couldn't attend due to childcare. Everyone involved is female btw, including my supervisor.

I agree it's not on, but honestly in your position I would pick your battles. Again, sorry to be harsh, but your supervisor is not going to care about [what she will perceive as] graduate student power struggles. You honestly don't see academics fighting over who is going to organise a conference! Rise above it, would be be my advice.

Re the seminar - couldn't your DD's dad ask his employers for a flexible working arrangement? Or just do it every second week or every month? If you are going to pursue an academic career, there will need to be some flexibility on his side too. In a sense - not a financial one, of course! - the university/your supervisor are your employer, and going to the seminar is part of your job if you want to be taken seriously as a future academic.

I also agree with the advice upthread about making sure you get a bit of teaching experience. It doesn't have to be loads.

Basically, if you want a job as an academic, you have to start behaving like one now. I.e. publishing, and focusing on the most important professional activities (major conferences, some research seminars, a bit of teaching). I know this sucks when you are a self-funded PhD student with limited childcare, but this is what counts, esp. when it comes to persuading your supervisor that you are a future academic star!

As teetimesthree has mentioned above editing a volume of collected papers counts for nothing in terms of RAE (or whatever the hell they call it now, I can't keep up), while contributing to such a volume counts for almost nothing.

You should focus on publishing in the highest rated, peer-review journal of your profession that you think you have a chance of getting published in. In my area (philosophy) acceptance rates in the top journals are around 2-11% and getting harder by the minute. Top journals see up to 600 submissions a year, so getting published is often a nightmare of multiple rejections and it can take years to finally find a place for a paper.

You are much MUCH better off spending your time reading all the current issues of journals in your area in the hopes of finding a piece you can write a response to. This was how I got my first publication as a graduate student and this idea has several advantages. You have a higher chance of being published as journals like to be seen to be generating debate, you can get published in a much better journal than might otherwise have been the case and you get a quicker turn around time. You then go to the job market with one great publication showing great potential for the future which is what all employers want.

Also you must finish your PhD in a reasonable time otherwise it begins to look problematic on your CV. Life gets ten times more busy when you get your first post and finishing the PhD in a timely fashion is an indicator that you will be able to cope.

Yes, agree with this. (Except there is no such thing as responses in my field, and I suspect the acceptance rates are a bit higher.)

Articles in top journals are the gold standard in the current job market.

Also very good advice about completion. This will also endear you to your supervisor - there is intense pressure to make sure your students complete on time.

We were directly penalised by the AHRC - if we didn't get enough of our students completing within, idealy 3 years but 4 years tops, future scholarships would be withdrawn! Madness but it does reflect the reality of academia at the moment.

Booboostoo - thanks for those ideas, that's massively helpful! I rarely see responses in my subject's main journals, but my thesis sort of combines three or four subjects, so there are quite a few journals I could try to send an article.

I know this will all seem like a stupid power struggle to my supervisor, which is why I'm looking for a dignified way out without appearing as though I failed to plan my extracurricular stuff properly.

DD's dad has absolutely no flexible working, he occasionally takes time off when there's absolutely no way round it (like when my supervisor can only offer me a time outside nursery hours), but all my uni events could easily use up all his holiday hours!

Combining three or four subjects could be massively useful to you. Look for journals which specialise in one subject but would be interested in the viewpoint of another subject on their discipline. So, for example, I placed a paper on the ethics of engineering in an engineering journal rather than a philosophy one, as in the philosophy journals it would compete with millions of other philosophy papers, whereas the engineering journal found philosophy to be a novel approach to their field. Also look out for CFPs on special issues, so for example the Journal of Risk Research had a special issue on the philosophy of risk which was perfect for me.