How do you teach children thoughtfulness?

[joshandjamie]

I've noticed recently that my boys are really not very thoughtful. Maybe I have unrealistic expectations of them (8 and 6 year old boys) because I know children are fairly self-absorbed little creatures who don't tend to naturally put others before themselves.

But it's little things - like offering to clear away someone else's plate at the table or like today at a school lunch, not just getting themselves a dessert but offering to bring me one too. I saw their friends bringing plates of food for their parents, so some kids do it. Similarly on Mother's Day, I heard my husband urging them to sign a card for me, which they did with as little effort as possible, instead of taking a tiny bit of time out to genuinely feel thankful for what their mum does for them.

I do try to lead by example and point out to them when they might have been more thoughtful, but it doesn't seem to go in.

Are there any tricks to teaching thoughtfulness?

you go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on....

how would you feel?

why don't you?

etc

I've spent the last 15 years trying to persuade my DS to be thoughtful. Not the slightest hint at the moment.

My DD1 at nearly 4 is already thoughtful and appears to be a lovely caring person.

Maybe you can't polish a turd?

I jest, but maybe it's innate?

By being thoughtful yourself. Point out and praise thoughtful behaviour in them and in others. And that's the best you can do.

See all those things I do. But maybe Ilovedaintynuts is right - maybe some children are just more thoughtful than others.