Author seeking parents to interview

[chonore10]

Hello,

My name is Carl Honoré and I am a journalist and author based in London, England. My first book, In Praise of Slow (or In Praise of Slowness) (www.inpraiseofslow.com), examines how the world got stuck in fast-forward and the many ways in which people everywhere are putting on the brakes. It is being translated into 24 languages and is an international bestseller.

I am now starting to research my next book. It will explore what has happened to childhood in the 21st century. I plan to investigate how so many children these days are over-scheduled, hot-housed, marinated in consumerism and generally encouraged to grow up faster. And how at the same time they are wrapped in cotton wool and barred from taking risks. Many children now find that every moment of their day is supervised, scrutinized (think web-cams in daycare) or exploited as an educational opportunity. This approach to raising children is sometimes called "hyper-parenting" or "helicopter-parenting."

Whatever you call it, though, the net effect is that childhood seems to have changed. It no longer exists for its own sake, a time of play, wonder and discovery. It has become a rat race to create an Alpha child. As the mother of one eight-year-old boy said to me recently: ?I feel sorry for this generation. My son and his friends are all so busy, so pressurized and on such a tight leash that they?re not able to have a real childhood.?

I am looking for people to interview about this cultural shift.

1. Do you feel that your children live on a high-speed treadmill but you can?t see any way to put on the brakes?

2. Have you eased the pressure (eg. fewer activities) on your kids and found that not only do you enjoy family life a lot more but that your children are happier, healthier and thriving at school?

3. Have you found an alternative to the highly competitive, time-consuming and grueling world of children?s sports?

4. Have you taken steps to insulate your children from excessive consumerism (eg. scaling back birthday parties)?

5. Are you rethinking the way your children use television, the Internet, video games and other technology?

6. Have you heard of any projects, school initiatives (eg. homework bans), summer camps, state policies, consumer campaigns, technological innovations etc that are aimed at defending childhood?

7. Do you think parenting has become a competitive sport? And that parents have lost faith in their ability to parent (hence the boom in how-to manuals and expert advice)?

8. Is there anything you think I should read on this subject?

If the answer to any of the above questions is Yes, I would love to hear from you. You can email me at [email protected].

Many thanks in advance for your help.

Best wishes,
Carl

Blimey, you're making me feel depressed.

Carl, please move this to media requests.

Incidentally, I do think the subject has been quite comprehensively covered although obviously someone like, for instance, Furedi has his own libertarian/Trot agenda.

it's in media

aswell, I meant

How about those parents who have chosen not to get on to the treadmill in the first place.

As older parents, we were brought up in the ear where there wasdn't this compulssion to occupy children all the time - and therefore I don't feel the need to vis a vis ds.

At 5, he goes to an after school club. He's tired when he gets in. I don't see the need to take him to other activities until he starts asking to.

We have started taking him to rubgy on a Sunday and would have been taking him to swimming lessons as well, if the pool hadn;t had to shut for 3-4 months (). We consider two acitivities (well, it will be once we get our act together and start taking him just for recreational swimming in the interim) is plenty.

SO the answer to the questions are:

1. No, 'cos we never got on to it in the first place, even tohugh we are aware that it is there

2. No - for the same reason. We don't have too many acitivtes to ease up the pressure from.

3. At two hours a week for the rugby and (when they re-start) on hour or so for the swimming, I don't consider ds' sports activities to be highly competitive, time-consuming and grueling. That may change as he gets older - but I will be led by what he enjoys.

4. No - his parties were never that large anyway and I don't beleive in party bags (although I have found that I have been compormised in that, as a friend who is a magician "did" ds' last two parties (the only real ones he has had - don't beleive in them before 4) and gave away very basic bags himself (he's not stupid! - they include a promotional flyer) - into which I pt apiece of birthday cake. Personally, all I would give kids to go away with would be a piece of cake.

5. Ds hardly gets on to the computer and he doesn't have a playstation or anything of that ilk. However, we are trying to work out ways to restrict his TV (except from the time from 6.30 to when we get him when it is a life saver)

6. No

7. Yes. Have a lot of sympathy with the sentiments in Frank Furedi's "Paranoid Parenting" even though I think it is a badly written book which could have done with a more rigorous approach to its sources. We are obsessed with what others might think of us and are judged (even here on Mumsnet, a supposedly "supportive" environment) if you go against what some people pereive as acceptable.

8. Did read "Toddler Taming" by Christopher Green and "Raising Boys" by Steve Biddulph (?) - both of which we found useful, although we extracted those elements that fitted with our own core beleifs and ignored those that didn't (eg that according to Steve Biddulph, ds was being damaged by being separated from his mother and being sent to a child minder from an early age)

i think that your view of childhood now is of a very stereotypical middle class childhood.The kind there are lots of articles about in the Times at the weekend.
Not all parents are sending their children to french club/music lessons/baby yoga and extra maths at age three.A considerable portion of parents can't afford to!

there should be less reading about it and more doing it, imo

Sounds very interesting Carl

speaking as a grandmother I very clearly see all the changes you highlight.

Good luck

this is in chat as well as parenting and media - how many more?!

My SIL, who is a single Mum and on a restricted income, who works full time, is out every night of the week ferrying her two kids to scout practice, ballet, football, violin and god know what else. SHe is rarely in before 9 - and her kids are 11 and 8 (ish)

She is already asking us when we will be taking ds along to Beavers (answer - probably never).

Most of her friends (in a working class area)

Whereas I and my neighbour (both "nice middle class") don't want to get sucked in to this rat race. And interestingly, she is also an older mother.

So it's not just a middle class thing.

want to say, when i was infant school age, there was a mobile sweetshop van (George). He'd stop, you get on and choose your sweets and he'd most probs drive off to the next stop where you'd pay then get off. Seemed perfectly normal then, but parents must be horrified at the thought these days. (Also taking into account, seatbelts, car seats, etc that weren't compulsory then)