At the end of my rope with DC3's behaviour. Help!

[Littlemissnegative]

DC3 is almost two and she had always been a spirited child however lately she is getting worse and worse. By that I mean tantrums a lot, more times than I can count in a day, especially when DCs 1 and 2 come home from school and pre school.

She is very aggressive to myself and her siblings and she cries and whines so much, it is really starting to get to me because I feel it's all my fault. It's not like I'm inexperienced in dealing with toddlers and of course my other DCs had tantrums and played up when they were this age but not constantly, and I mean constantly some days. I'm a SAHM but it's making me think about going back to work just so I don't have to deal with her all day every day.

I am not depressed but I'm crying more and more lately. She is worse when she's tired, hungry and ill but shes like that anyway. I am desperate for some ideas. This sounds awful and it breaks my heart to say it but at the moment she's not acting like a nice child which must mean she's unhappy, but why?

She gets so much love and attention from me much mote than the other two because she's do demanding. I love her to bits and I always show her I do but I am firm when she's naughty however nothing works with her or hasn't so far. Please help!

Is she talking yet? Late talkers sometimes get frustrated that they can't express themsevles. Does she have regular naps at particular times rather than waiting until she is tired to nap? Does she get regular snacks rather than waiting to get hungry? Usually tantrums are attention-seeking so the best way to counteract is not to reward the behaviour with attention.

My stock response to whining is to ignore it completely, get on with what I'm doing and only give attention when they're being reasonable again. My response to aggression is a sharp 'no', removal to a different room, playpen or somewhere else out of harms way and ignore until the tantrum has gone.... then they can join me again.

Thanks Cogito. She has a 2 hour nap at around 11 am, she is far too tired by lunchtime if she hasn't had a sleep and she goes to bed at 7 pm. She is a good talker, talks in sentences of 4 and 5 words, can sing whole songs, etc. I try ignoring her or removing her when she has hit or nipped me or my other DCs. She has a horrible habit of grabbing your face and digging her nails in, but other day she did it to DS (5) and he really cried, he hadn't even done anything to her, she was just in a temper! Under his eye was cut and swollen, she can't carry on doing that, I'm worried she will do real damage to someone, especially someone else's child. The irony is neither of her siblings hit or anything, just her.

I think you have to be persistent & consistent until she gets it. Praise good behaviour. Be annoyed and remove her from play when she gets aggressive. If you think she can understand you fully, set the expectations for behaviour in advance.... 'I expect you to play nicely'... and mention consequences at the same time... 'if you are not kind to DS you can't play with him'.

Would an afternoon nap mean she was less excitable when the older children come back from school? I know mine needed two a day at that age. Also, as a precautionary measure, keep her fingernails very short!!!