I'm a Sh*t Mom...

[VirtualSlap]

...this week.
Help me, I feel utterly stressed and overwhelmed at the moment.
I have 3 DC 8, 6 & 3.
I work 9 -3.
I just don't know what's wrong. The children are really doing my head in, though they are not doing anything particularly bad.
8 year old is a brain and wants tech support, want's to test me with math questions or go through 101 facts.
6 year old has a volertile temper when hungrey or tired,the first hour home from school is full of intermitant crying or over dramatic upset at knocks or falls
3 year old, misses me and wants me, 'Carry me, carry me' or constant role play.
The first two hours home consist of drying tears, cooking, toileting, fixing, cooking, referring, eating, clearing up, discipline.
When I finally sit down approx 6pm everyone wants to 'do' something with me, totally understandable but it can over bearing.
I keep gritty my teeth at the kids to stop myself from saying something really horrid.
Just as bed time approaches and freedom is in sight, DH comes home and he wants attention too, nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
Argh!!!!!!!
Last night I took the kids cycling at 6pm, bought them back in the dark, I just had to get out, I felt I was gonna loose the plot.
After 10 mins of being out, we were laughing, teasing, playing it was great and reminded me this is how it is supposed to be.
What can I do to turn this downer around, I don't like myself at the moment.

You sound like a great mom to me! I get how you feel about being pulled in all directions and everybody wanting your attention, even your other half! You sound like you just need a little break. Do you have any family or friends who could may be help you out here? Maybe just 1 evening a week catching up with a friend could do you the world of good. I feel pretty shite too at the moment, but you sound as though you are dealing with it alot better than me. : )

No Gemtubbs, no family locally. I do feel stiffled, like I really need a wild night out. All my friends are parents of young children and planning a night seems to take as much organisation as a wedding, it's really annoying.
No c'mon Gemtubbs, what's up? Lets talk.

sorry op no advice but just reading your op made me feel all stress

you really do not sound like a bad mum to me

I'm similar to you, except that I only have 2 kids, ds 4 and ds 6 months, and I'm on maternity leave atm so I am really pathetic. Just that they do my head in even though they're really not that bad. Just all the crying and whinging getting to me atm. Not so much my baby, he's pretty "good" most of the time and doesn't normally cry unless it's a good reason. My 4yo is constantly bored/tired/hungry. Even when we try to do something nice for him he does nothing but whinge. Where ever we go, he comes back in tears for no apparent reason. Swimming, the park, grandparent's house, friend's house, school, shops....always ends in tears. We even took him on holiday to disneyworld thinking he'd love it, but he just cried and wanted to go home. Try to have a sense of humour about it, but it does wear me down.

One bad morning, I woke up with the baby crying, my 4 yo whining "Mummyeeeeeeeee", the cat was meowing and my husband moaning at me about all the noise because he works nights and was trying to sleep. I was only trying to go for a pee!

It's good that you can go on a family bike ride and enjoy spending time with your kids. As you say, that's how it's supposed to be. A bad day here and there, but mostly enjoy your children.

I'm gritting my teeth to stop myself saying any thing nasty too, but I'm finding it harder and harder. Feel like I'm constantly just sending my 4 yo to his room because I can't stand his whining voice any more. And I mean, I sometimes get to the point where I shout at him "Get in your bedroom!!!!!!", and then I feel so guilty obviously. We can usually have a cuddle and make it up and we say "Sorry" and "I love you" to each other, but I think that he is probably going to grow up to hate me.

Any way, maybe you getting out the house with your kids on the bikes is a good way for you to all get along together. It sounds really nice.

family bike ride sounds like a great way to revitalise, maybe you could make that into a regular thing? And you do sound like a great mum, working practically full time, and with lots of empathy for your attention seeking family! Maybe you could have some sort of quiet time built into your routine also where you soak in the bath, while DH looks after the kids?

yeah bike riding sounds great but instead of you chosing where to go ask your DS where he would like to go maybe if you let him chose he will have no reason to whinge and get DH to take over every now and then you sound like a great hard working mum and i admire you for that and stop feeling stressy get in a nice hot bath with bubbles and read your mag! cut some slack feel better about your self you deserve it

Sounds like you are doing a great job to me!! How about finding some more activities that you can do all together? Perhaps at 6 pm if bikes aren't an option you can find a game (board/card/musical statues) to play with everyone!

I think if you can find chance it'd be helpful to fix up some "after school" snacks the night before, giving you chance to have a few mins' cuddle with 3yo while the other two refuel a bit. I used to do that with our evening meals, so I just had to reheat!! If you don't like to do tv with snacks, try an audiobook from the library which you can all enjoy! Make a thing of it: "ooh, we get to go home and find out what happens next in 'how to train your dragon'!"

Lastly, I would encourage you to say "nuts to chores" when you first get home. Make the first 30 minutes or so just about reconnecting with the children. I found myself in a similar stress to you (though I only have 2) and this REALLY helped me. The children are calmer cos they've had a bit of mummy time.

No suggestions for dh though. Tell him to hire a cleaner, then you might have energy for nookie? I kid, of course!

Good luck. You're not shit. You're human. And coping marvellously!