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Original poster

should i send my DD to playgroup? - advice please

62 replies

olek · 01/02/2006 12:21

Hi, i would really appreciate advice from mumsnetters. here is the story. I have a delightfull DD who is 2 and 1 month and a easygoing DS who is 3 weeks. I could send my dd to a playgroup round the corner for 3 hrs x 5 days a week.

In big dilema, as absolutely exhausted so could do with time to sleep in morning/catch up on housework. But i love having my DD around. She is a litle demanding mentally as toddlers are, but is such an adorable little girl and i love her company.

No point being a matyr as i ams sure my DH and DD want a relaxed mum. But dont want a short day with dd, as once she gets home she probably need a nap, and she would have had her stimulation away from me, so i get her at the tired end etc. (and she is so young)

I know the tiredness passes, but it might be a good ideato just spend time with DS a bit, at the moment he is very sidelined! and maybe have a tidy house too.

sorry its so long...in such a state (what will school decisions be like!!)

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LIZS · 05/02/2006 17:36

I don't think you should feel bad about it per se but you may well find that she tries to reinstate the nap after a tiring morning at playgroup and your afternoons are either spent with a ratty toddler or taken over by her nap so there isn't much time left to enjoy her.

Blossomhill · 05/02/2006 19:18

Personally I think your dd is way too young.

My ds started at 2 yrs 9 months and then did full time at 3yrs 9 months.

There is no way I would have sent him five mornings a week. Far too young IMO to send at all at just 2 yrs 1 month.

Usual age is 2 yrs 6 months. Reason playgroups are taking them younger is nursery intake age lowered.

dexter · 05/02/2006 19:52

so you're thinking of sending her to the convenient local place for five sessions a week; I'd guess that means this is financially possible for you. So why not pay for the five sessions (as this is a financial necessity for the provider) but only send her for two or three? I know the other money is 'wasted' but more important to get the amount of time right for your daughter - and the arrangments that fit into the family situation the best, ie local place.

Is that a creative thought? or are the accountants out there needing their pills given to them as they read!!!!

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Original poster
olek · 05/02/2006 20:09

actually im an accountant! wouldn't it be great to have her at the local place and send for what i want during the week, and have a cleaning help too!

tbh im not very good at delegating help, so even when working and preg and toddler, only had a cleaner for about 2 hours a week if at all.

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Original poster
olek · 05/02/2006 20:10

btw auntymandy, thanks for the offer

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Auntymandy · 06/02/2006 10:10

Do your supermarket shop on line!
Where do you live btw?

Original poster
olek · 06/02/2006 15:26

doing it online is a good idea, and i always said i would. i needed to get to asda for a coat for my ds so had to go in.

It is more the principle - its much easier to get all your errands done with one kid. I live in london, and not everything is in walking distance.

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Original poster
olek · 06/02/2006 15:32

today at 9 she put her coat and her knap sack on, but we only got out at 11.00!

the house was tip, toys strewn everywhere, sink full of dirty dishes, bedroom strewn with clean laundry. But i knew it wasnt fair for her to stay in, and baby was screaming. So I put them in the car and drove to friend. he fell asleep on the way. now come back to utter chaos.

Cleaner coming later. i have put her to bed just because i am too tired to entertain her anymore.

the day just seems so unstructured. i am used to working and picking her up at 1 ish. then we'd have an afternoon together. the day seems too long!

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juliab · 06/02/2006 15:45

oh olek I want to give you a big hug! You remind me so much of me when DS1 was a tiny toddler and DS2 was a newborn. it's so exhausting and so stressful and everything just seems so insurmountable, doesn't it? Everyone here has given very wise advice but of course they all have their own (different!) opinions about these things - and in the end you just have to take a deep breath and do what's right for you. No one's going to string you up for sending your dd to playgroup 5 days a week - and no one's going to think any worse of you if you don't. There probably isn't a perfect solution - just find one you can live with for now. In the end, we all muddle through the best we can...

LIZS · 06/02/2006 16:43

"i am used to working and picking her up at 1 ish. then we'd have an afternoon together. the day seems too long! " Perhaps therein lies the problem, you no longer have structure to your day and are overwhelmed. Are there any local toddler groups such as music or storytime, toddler exercise or swimming class to which you could go a morning or two a week. It would give you something to aim for, entertain and tire dd a bit and you'll feel as if you are doing something constructive. Is there anyone who could either take her for now or watch the baby later on while you do something just the two of you ? Would he old CM be an option to give you a break rather than commit to a 5 * am playgroup which might be a real bind later on when you start to feel more confident and have a routine ?

Auntymandy · 07/02/2006 12:57

It will all settle down..honest!
Mail me if you you need a friendly ear!!
[email protected]

Original poster
olek · 07/02/2006 20:50

thanks everyone for your advice! things are not settled yet, but im feeling much calmer, which is the most important.

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