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Parenting

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Original poster

year one child. am i expecting too much?

21 replies

PooPooInMyToes · 14/03/2012 11:19

My daughter is in year one and i would appreciative feed back from others with children the same age op anyone really.

In the morning, every single morning, i ask her to go and put her shoes on and then her coat. I ask her to do this everyday. Everyday she goes and puts the shoes on (sometimes has to be reminded) and then just sits there.

Put shoes then coat on doesn't seem too complicated an instruction and they are right next to each other!

Am i expecting too much?

I've posted a couple of times recently about her and the general feeling was that a lot of what she does is for attention. I am trying to think would she subconsciously not put the coat on for this reason? So that i ask her again?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

piprabbit · 14/03/2012 11:25

My 8yo is still like this. She has been known to forget what she was doing halfway through pulling her trousers up. She just stands there, holding them at mid-thigh, gazing into middle distance.

For my own sanity, it works best if I break it down into two separate instructions. Wait until the shoes are on before moving to the coat instruction.

Original poster

PooPooInMyToes · 14/03/2012 11:33

Wow! I've got years of it then

OP posts:

piprabbit · 14/03/2012 11:37

Probably .

You'll miss it when she does it all without asking.

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Marne · 14/03/2012 11:40

yep, my 8 year old is the same, drives me nuts (you would have though after 4 years of the same routine she would have got the hang of it by now). I also have a year one dd and she can manage the morning routine fine and is ready before her sister.

Original poster

PooPooInMyToes · 14/03/2012 11:40

Why does it drive me so crazy though! It makes me mental!

OP posts:

MMQC · 14/03/2012 11:44

I have devised a list for my yr1 daughter. She has six things to do in the morning (get dressed, clear away pyjamas, clean teeth, etc.) and if she can do them all without nagging she gets 20p.

It worked brilliantly for a couple of weeks and I have to admit it's slipping. But bribery is definitely the way to go!

ShowOfHands · 14/03/2012 11:46

DD is 4yo and in reception. She notices the time and puts on her own shoes/coat, puts her bag on her back and gets ready to leave. She could probably get up, make her own breakfast, wash, dress, teeth brush, out, on the bus, walk to school etc with no supervision whatsoever. I'm completely surplus to requirement. This morning she paused between getting dressed and brushing her teeth to start changing ds's nappy before I intervened ffs. She's 4 going on 40. Where is the middle ground?

WowOoo · 14/03/2012 11:46

My ds is in year 1 and gets himself dressed and ready with no problem.
Does she want to go?
He'll stall sometimes if he doesn't want to go somewhere on the weekend, but for school he is fine.

Original poster

PooPooInMyToes · 14/03/2012 13:11

Yes she does want to go. She loves it!

Showofhands blimey!

OP posts:

ShowOfHands · 14/03/2012 13:22

Just to clarify, reread and my post sounds braggy. It's not. I think what I was grasping at is that dd's personality makes her totally the other way. Personality/temperament makes a huge difference. DD likes order and is a people pleaser and it translates to remarkable independence. It causes problems the othe way in that she refuses help and doesn't like to be assisted with things like hot ovens or sharp knives. Just a different sort of battle.

mum23girlys · 14/03/2012 13:32

Aww poo I really feel for you. My twins are 5 and in Primary 1. One of them can be ready in 15 minutes flat in the morning. I get them both up at 7ish and one bounces out of bed and wolfes her breakfast, then straight back upstairs to get ready. Never have to nag her. Other tdd is a nightmare! I honestly think she spends about an hour of the morning staring at the wall with no clue as to what she's supposed to be doing. By the time we leave for school I'm ready to blow up and she's always crying cause she hasn't had time to play with dd3 before we leave. We have over an hour and a half between getting up and having to leave. Tried getting her up earlier and later to see if it makes a difference but nothing seems to work. Apparently my dh was like this when he was little still is if you ask me

Best of luck and I agree with op bribery does work to some extent

Firawla · 14/03/2012 13:35

My 3 year old does this type of thing and it drives me crazy, i was hoping they grow out of this by year 1 - oh no! I have resorted to bribery with him, but then when i havent got anything to bribe him with to get dressed quickly and sensibly, then he starts messing around and taking ages again.. so possibly not the best strategy overall

Original poster

PooPooInMyToes · 14/03/2012 16:22

Mum23 are your twins so different like that all the time or just mornings? I am like your second twin in the mornings. Can hardly function!

OP posts:

JackyJax · 14/03/2012 16:36

I have a perfect child (also have another one that's far more like me and therefore very far from perfect!) and he can be asked 6 times to put on shoes and put on his coat in the morning before school. It drives me nuts too. I end up saying, I've asked you five times really politely, now I'm going to shout! Or else I have to stand over him like some sort of sergeant major.

When I get organised I'm going to do a chart. 10 mins before alarm goes off for school he'll have to a) do a wee b) put on shoes c) put on coat. He'll then put a sticker on chart for a,b, c. If at end of week he has managed to get eg 12 stickers (don't expect perfection) then he'll get some sort of mini reward.

I'm a teacher and know this sort of approach will work and will also stop me from going crazy!

giantchocolatebuttons · 14/03/2012 19:24

My yr 2 DS is much the same and we have a combination of instant rewards which change depending on what motivates ie unusual stickers. Plus we always use a kitchen timer and a warning for everything even a request to put shoes on would be i have set the time for 2 minutes for you to put your shoes on. This now works but has taken nearly 3 years at school and total consistency every day to achieve this.

Hasten to add it is pure personality as my 2 and 4 year olds get dressed and ready independently and too early without ever being asked every day and my 2 year old is far more capable and better at dressing than yr 2 DS!!

SoupDragon · 14/03/2012 19:26

I have a DD in Y1 and she can cope with "complicated" instructions such as the socks/coat example.

DS2, Y6, can not.

[sigh]

Heavensmells · 14/03/2012 19:34

My ds1 is 6 and is exactly the same. I've had to just accept it because I was raising my voice far too often and we were all getting stressed out. He can quite often lose an item whilst in the process of getting it as he gets so easily distracted.

Blackpuddingbertha · 14/03/2012 21:08

DD is year 1. She does not do anything without being asked at least 10 times. If I ask her to take her clothes off & get ready for bed for instance, and then don't supervise, keep asking, raise my voice etc. then she'll just twiddle with her hair or jump on the bed or stand on her head or lie on the floor. She's not wilful and doesn't find it difficult to understand complicated instructions, she's just easily distracted. Unfortunately DD2 is exactly the same. It's quite painful in our house sometimes...

Original poster

PooPooInMyToes · 16/03/2012 17:37

Blackpudding. She sounds like mine. World of her own. Good imagination though? Is yours the same?

OP posts:

Blackpuddingbertha · 19/03/2012 20:27

Oh yes. Between the two of them they can invent whole worlds! Similar concentration problems at school too for DD1. Rarely gets things finished although is very capable. I'm sure it will get better (slowly) as they get older.

gobbledegook1 · 20/03/2012 21:14

My DP's kids are still like that at ages 7 & 9 and it drives me up the wall, in-fact just getting them to get there shoes on when asked is a chore in its self nevermind expecting them to remember their coats.

Personally I'd just be proud that at age 1 she's actually putting her own shoes on! My 3 year old only started doing this at age 2 and even now he sometimes struggles and needs help.

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