Id like to soften it and call it something else, but the truth of it is that it was envy I felt when my friend announced her pg today. I have three gorgeous dc, we aren't having a fourth and I am absolutely blessed. I remember feeling like this after dc 2 and I think it comes down to being envious of her chance to do what I feel I've cocked up royally. Dd2 is 8 months and not sleeping, I love Ds dearly but spend a lot of time wishing I was alone and I have too high an expectation of dd1 who is gorgeous and feisty and six. I will make a fresh start as I do daily, but I always feel I've fallen short of what my dc deserve, and the few hours and days after birth seem to be the only time I feel I've got it right. However, three is all I've ever wanted and so I'm sticking there. I think I just need some sense that life with older children can be lovely and that there are good times ahead. Not sure if that makes sense. It's definitely not about wanting to give birth again or nuzzle newborns-I felt completed with that after dd2 was born. Sorry if this sounds gratuitous. I do understand how lucky I am-all three born with considerable infertility treatment. I want to gently kick myself up the backside and move forward into the raising children part of life rather than having babies without feeling green eyed and sad when friends announce pregnancies. Nothing will show on the outside- my head and the better part of my heart is delighted for her.