Don't want to screw up No. 2!

[Jayney10]

Hi there
I have just found out that I am pregnant with my second child. We are delighted but I am still in shock! We have a DS who is 2.3 and the centre of our world (of course!). My problem is - will I love no 2 the same? I am so scared - how can they live up to DS?! he is so wonderful, so calm and gentle and kind - I am so worried I will compare as obviously No. 2 will be different. What if I don't like them as much? everyone says they bring love with them... but is this true?!

I am worried about this because both DH and I have screwy brothers and sisters who were the 'neglected' middle child ;0) I know it is all theory and nonsense but still, what if I screw this one up?!

I am being mental I know but I am really concerned! how do you relate to your different DCs? Do you have favourites? Did you really love the second as much as the first?

Thanks for listening and please don't report me to SS :)
x Jayney

I guarantee that you personally have enough love for more than one person. You already love DH and DS at the very least, even if the specific relationship you have with them is different. Same will go for baby #2. You'll love them in a different way to DS purely because they will have their own personality and you won't have known them as long. But, because you're conscious that others haven't done it well, you'll make a special effort to be even-handed. I really wouldn't worry.

You will love no 2 just as much. I know I have not had favourites because each child used to tell me that the other was more favoured than they were in equal measure!

My DP told me he felt exactly the same way when his then wife was expecting their no.2. He couldn't imagine loving another child the way he loved no.1. They are very different children, but he soon realised he loved no.2 just as much, but he likes the fact that they are different. Saying that, I think he will always have a special bond with no.1 - his first child and only boy.

I have four DC and yes, it is true that your ability to love just grows with each one. They have such different personalities, and so there are different things you love about them - your No2 may not be calm and gentle and kind, he/she may be loud and opinionated and feisty, but you'll find that you love those qualities just as much.

Ah thanks so much for your responses guys. They made me weepy! I guess as the news settles in I shall start really getting to grips with this new person in my life and may the bonding begin!

x J

I worried about this too but I found each one filled a space in my heart which I hadnt known was empty :)

I've been thinking about it and my mum definitely had favourites - I was the favourite because I always did exactly what was expected of me, my sis was the difficult middle child and my brother was the cherished, but very 'naughty' (misunderstood) boy. I worry so much that I shall be like this but just hope that with reflection I shall be able to love all my children equally for whomever they are. Hope, hope, hope.

x J