When your child asks you not to die

[gypsymummy]

Yesterday out of the blue DS1 who is 6 said" Mummy I love you so much please don't die"..I reassured him and gave him a big hug but I could not stop thinking about this all day yesterday and in fact I am still thinking about what he said today. What triggers such questions ( no deaths in the family or amongst friends ) and what would be the right way to tackle it? Would love to hear from you all.

Oh and about triggers, i guess he is aware of death because of death in the family and whatnot.

My DS isn't old enough to ask about this yet (only 8.5mo!) but I'm curious as to whether there's a general age when kids become aware of death and how it could affect their family. I can't go on personal experience as I had a younger brother who died when I was 6 (he was 3). I don't recall anyone ever having a death conversation with me and it was really obvious that it would not be a good idea to ask. In the experience of others here, is there a developmental stage at which this subject comes up? Assuming it hasn't been brought to kids' attention by 'natural' means IYSWIM.

MrsDV - it sounds like you have taken a really brave and positive approach with your DS, which is great. I wasn't allowed to ever mention my DB because it made my mum so upset so I think it's really healthy that your DS feels comfortable discussing the topic of his DS.

Just to clarify - that last bit was to OhDoAdmitMrsDevere and of course the last 'DS'was meant to be 'DD'. Sorry about that :(

"In the experience of others here, is there a developmental stage at which this subject comes up?"

It probably is a developmental stage but I think the start and end points are quite far apart depending on the child. There's an early point where they understand the idea of death as 'the end' from stories, real life, pets conking out etc. But to understand the implications, inevitability and/or worry about death they have to be able to empathise, imagine the future and model a few 'what ifs'.

The words "kill" and "die" came up in my sons vocabulary from watching their cousins playing computer games etc..they tended to use these very casually but DS1, who is now 6 and the subject of my post, started to realise that death meant disappearing from "here forever" around the age of 5 and that is when he started to use it to that effect. Once we found a dead bird in our garden and he was very matter of fact about it but of late he does bring up my late father every now and then although he never got to know him as my father passed away when he was only 5 months old but he now seems to use my father as a sort of example of what being dead is about....again i would agree that curiousity and mentioning of and interest in death is very much a part of growing up and development.