Talking to nursery staff- a bit PFB sorry!

[RandomHouseRules]

DS1 has recently moved rooms at nursery to the older kids room (2-3 YOs). When he was in the 'baby' room I had a great relationship with the staff and every day got a good sense of what DS had been up to and how he'd been. Because it was a baby room I also got a piece of paper with a bit of an overview of the day and his routine etc. But in the older room they don't do the paperwork and - partly the fault of the time I'm doing pick up - when I arrive they are all out in the garden having lots of fun and I never seem to be able to have a chat wit the staff. For the first few weeks I didn't think too much of it -the staff is busy, DS is obviously happy etc. But it is beginning to bother me. I don't know anything like as much about his day now as I did before - I just get DS's stories about his day (which are always the same and I know he does more then what he tells me). Is this just a fact of life of what happens as children get older, and I need to get used to knowing less about what's going on in DS's day. Or should I be expecting more and demanding more. And if so, how? I don't want to pull the staff away from other children if I'm just being PFB about it.

I should add that it's a lovely nursery, I am really happy with it. Perhaps this makes it harder as I'm reluctant to sound too demanding lest they think I'm criticising them.

Thanks.

My DS has just moved into 2-3 room too. I used to get a slip of paper with nappy changes and everything he ate. 2-3 room doesn't do this. But i usually have an informal update on his day but no detail on exactly what he's been doing. He is DC3 but the first to have been in childcare so young so it's new to me too.

DC1 and 2 at school I rarely get any info from so I'm starting to let go a little of my precious last born child.

At my nursery you still get an information sheet in the 2-3 year room, but I actually get the more useful information from a quick chat with his keyworker - just say 'what's he been up to today?' or similar when you pick him up? I'm assuming you get some kind of handover with the keyworker.

Staff at DSs nursery are always happy to pause what they are doing and chat about DSs day.

My ds is 2 and all I get is a book which I can write in about what he does at home & the new things he has learnt but the nursery only tells me what he has eaten and if he enjoyed it I would like to know more as well but I guess it's to loosen the rains abit if u know what I mean

Sounds like my nursery op - I usually get there after lunch and they are all playing out. Tbh I'm not that bothered with an account of his day, poss as this is ds4 and I know he is really happy and I can see what he has been doing generally by his progress with reading and stuff.

I am a nursery nurse, and can see how that situation happens, the first few pickups are usually the hardest to hand over, as I still have a room full of other children to supervise and cannot give those parents my undivided attention.
You should be able to request your DC's file to see what they're up to at nursery all day, but lower staff:child ratios downstairs will always mean less detailed feedback at handover.
Turning it around, you wouldn't want nursery staff to stop supervising your DC to chat to a parent, would you?
Just because our attention is divided at pick up time, doesn't imply a lack of professionalism, more a caring attitude to all the DCs in their charge.
HTH

Thanks.

Inmysparetime yes indeed, I don't want to take the staff away from other kids and that's part of the problem - I'm not a very pushy kind of person and so have spent the last few weeks just saying 'has he had a good day' and they say 'yes he has' - and that's it really. Like I said, at first it didn't bother me but now I've realised that I really don't know about how he's spending his time. (According to DS he's spent the last 6 weeks playing with a plastic cow ).

DS's key worker does the early shift so she leaves before I go to pick up DS. DH drops DS off in the mornings and so he sees her but doesn't have time to chat then either. Should I make DS have the conversations about how he's getting on, so he can talk the next morning IYKWIM? Or I guess I could speak to the nursery manager about who I can talk to about his day given that his keyworker isn't there. I don't need to talk to them every day - just maybe once a week?

I find that odd. Every child at my son's nursery (he's also in the 2 - 3 or, as they call it, toddlers room) gets a sheet of paper at the end of the day with what they ate, how much they slept, how many nappy changes and what their favourite activities of the day were. One of the staff members takes 2 minutes to go over it with the parent at pick up.

Of course, I'm in Northern Ireland and we have different rules and no key workers!

Your DH may well get more info in the morning, perhaps you could ask to look at your DS's file every few weeks, as the EYFS is very evidence-based so he should have lots of observations in there.
Maybe talk to the key worker and see if you could get a "round up" of your DS's week, or explain that you value the handover sheet and would like to know what your DS enjoys at nursery.
I see so many handover sheets crumpled on the ground outside nursery or left on the surfaces, it is easy to assume parents don't really value them. Please approach your nursery and let them know you do.

I'm pretty sure that under the EYFS they're obliged to provide you with information about what he ate etc.

Our nursery is the same in terms of sheets of paper, but a member of staff always comes over to say goodbye when I pick up. If I have some time, I tend to ask DD what she has been doing (or comment on what she has clearly been doing if it's all over her clothes!) while the staff member is right there and they usually chip in a detail about the activity. Actually, that's usually all I want - just a sketch of what goes on. We have 'parents evenings' twice a year to cover the more detailed/formal EYFS stuff and I take DD's file home to read about once a quarter. In your shoes, I would ask informally: "Hello little one! Did you have a good day? Hi, Staff Person! Has he had fun? Oh good - what has he been up to?" There's no implied criticism there. Some days you'll get more detail than others - depends what else is going on. Whoever said you get more detail at a late pick up is dead right for our nursery, by the way. When I pick up early I usually just run because I can see how busy it is.