Is it possible to have a 2nd dc and not descend into the newborn craziness that was life with dc1?

[smongesmonge]

I have a 5 year old ds and am ttc a 2nd dc at the mo. When I had ds I felt my world changed completely, I no longer cared about anything other than him really, I bf for 2 years, had complete babybrain, felt out of real life, he was really hard work, never slept, cried when I put him down etc. I guess all in all I felt like I lived inside a whirlwind for 2 years. Now life is lovely, he is at school, I have time to myself, he is easy now.

So we are ttc but I'm terrified of being sucked back into that whirlwind. Is it possible for me to have a 2nd dc without the craziness? Is it possible to avoid babybrain (it was and would be a big problem because of work)? Is it at all possible to have a 2nd and s/he fit into your already child orientated life (i.e. swimming, storytime at library, walks in the woods) after the first few months?

I did a one evening a week course when Dc2 was a month old (and still EBF) and then decided setting up my own business during my maternity leave.. well, I made the website, etc while Dc2 was asleep ;-) I am 10 weeks pregnant again and don't actually have baby brain (yet). I live in hope..

Sometimes I miss the times that I was curled up on the sofa all day with DC1 in a baby bubble during maternity leave, but i guess it is always good to have some balance.

So I'd say yes, it is possible. All a matter of your own attitude I guess. (And of course ideally you'll not have a high maintenance baby..)

Good luck!

of course. The 1st baby is a huge and tremendous life changing event. And an enormous learning curve. The 2nd or subsequent child(ten), while in themselves are wonderful, don't have the same impact at all.A lot of the stuff you already know and have learnt (of course, there are loads of things you'll have forgotten or feel daft for not having thought of - I totally forgot you had to wind the baby after feeding and the nurse had to show me to do it as I couldn't work out why she way crying non-stop - and this was dc4! )

But you know so much now, you have another dc to care for which will keep you grounded, and of course, your ds is likely to want to help to, so lots to share. Of course you can carry on with normal activities, some will be harder, or take more planning, but your ds will still want and need to do stuff and you can and will manage to do it all. Really.

Think positive! And good luck ttc

I found dd1 hard work. I hadn't had much experience of babies and found that everything was a challenge. I took ages just getting out the door and was completely enveloped in the baby bubble.

Dd2 came along 3 years later and what a change. Everything fell into place and dd2 just had to fit in with our established routine.

Yes definately! My dd2 8 months comes along whecer we go with dd1 2.7. It is difficult in the beginning the gets easier. Remember how much you learned first tine round. I found baby number 2 much easier as far less worrying

Thanks for the reassuring replies .

Every day in everything I do I think 'could I do this with a baby?' and most all of the time the answer is yes because of course I'm living the life of a mummy anyway. So that makes me think it will be fine. The birth of ds just completely threw out my old life, and I guess I found it pretty scary!

I'am nervous of silly things like losing my sex drive, having fuzzy baby brain for ages. But I these are not all that longterm really. Although sex drive did take a while to return . Really I want to carry on as I am but with a new baby in arms, I think all in all it is the emotional side of it I'm nervous of, l couldn't stand to be away from ds at all and found the return to work very difficult, I'm worried about going through all of that heartwrenching again.

I hope so. In the first few months, I spent 6-10 hours a day trying to get DS to sleep, another 6 or so hours feeding - I just don't know when I'd fit all that in with DC2!