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Parenting

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Original poster

positive stories about having DC2 please

14 replies

cuppaneeded · 04/03/2012 13:45

just read a negative (maybe realistic...) thread and it scared the life out of me!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Iggly · 04/03/2012 13:47

Was that the thread I'm on

I'm three months in and yes it's hard but the way DD looks at DS and DS loves to show her things and help, I can see it'll be fine.

rowanrowow · 04/03/2012 13:53

It's incredibly hard but a lot of that depends on the sort of baby you have, how much sleep you get etc. DS1 is 4, DS2 is 10 weeks old and I am not going to lie, it's been hell and that is with a bigger age gap and DS1 being at school! The sleep deprivation is the worst because you simply can NOT sleep when your baby does when you have an older child to care for. There's been some hideous moments where I have honestly just wept and wondered why I felt the need for a second when DS1 is just so lovely at the minute BUT I have to say I am very aware of the fact that is is so temporary this time. Last time everything stressed me out and I just couldn't ever see how DS would ever grow up which of course he did! This time I know things get better. DS1 adores his brother, totally and utterly lovely to see him hugging him and explaining his toys to him! I think the first year is going to be hideous (but then DS2 is a cranky baby as was DS1!) but it will be worth it. I just couldn't see my life with one child no matter how much easier it seems like it was now!

rowanrowow · 04/03/2012 13:55

sorry that was mainly negative but it's still early days for us! I am assured it'll be lovely one day!

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flamingtoaster · 04/03/2012 14:02

My DS was 2 years 3 months when DD was born. He absolutely adored her and loved doing things to help. He still had a nap during the day so we all managed to have naps together. DD was a very easy baby from the beginning (I had to carry DS around for his first six weeks during the day or he got incredibly upset) - so it did make it a lot easier than I expected. They soon developed a lovely relationship which was a joy to watch. Yes, I was incredibly busy when they were both small but it was enjoyable.

Original poster

cuppaneeded · 04/03/2012 14:03

thank you toaster! bump for any other positives...

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birdsofshoreandsea · 04/03/2012 14:04

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

cuppaneeded · 04/03/2012 14:08

thanks birds...what's the age gap between yours?

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missmapp · 04/03/2012 14:12

Mine are 4 and 6 now (2.5yrs gap) and play together very well, most of the time. Ds1 is also v.protective of ds2 and every morning starts with both wanting to 'huggle' eachother, which is lovely ( the huggles often turn to wrestling, but you cant have it all. There are times when it is hard, but that is the case with anything worth doing!!

HumphreyCobbler · 04/03/2012 14:14

having my second child was not such a shock as having my first, even though I had two to deal with.

In fact having a toddler and a newborn is entirely preferable to being pregnant with a toddler.

It is fine! Everything is easier with a second baby. You will be more relaxed and confident. You will cope.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 04/03/2012 14:20

Mine are 8 and almost 6 now... 2 girls. The way they play together, get along, look out for one another, do nice things for each other.... it is amazing to watch and makes me so proud and happy. They do have their moments - of course they do - but they are great sisters.

When DD2 arrived, she "brought" chocolates for DD1, hidden in DD2's blanket for DD1 to find when she held her little sister for the first time. DD2 also brought DD1 a present when she was born. I think that helped!

It is definitely hard work when they are so little, but the stage where you have 2 babies, or a baby and a toddler, really does pass so quickly.

birdsofshoreandsea · 04/03/2012 14:29

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lovemysleep · 04/03/2012 14:34

I have a 6 year age gap between mine, and I have to say, it's been alot easier than I ever thought it would be. DD2 is 4 months old now, and we've been lucky to get a good sleeper and a generally very mellow baby - I'm not looking forward to the toddler stage so much though!

It's been made easier as I wasn't able to BF her either - so DH gives me the weekend off, and I get to sleep all night through - it also makes it easier for me to leave her with someone if I need too - haven't done it much though, as I'm keen to make the most of her, whilst she is at this easy stage.

I think I've run out of my hormonal high recently though - so I am getting tired now, and there is less time to rest, as I have to keep on top of things for my DD1 - she obviously needs stuff for school and her dinner every night!

I wouldn't change it for the world - even though I know that there will be hard times - they aren't babies for long, and I think it does get easier around the age of 3.

And ditto on the way DD2 looks at DD1 - she adores her! Always smiles and laughs at her, and I just hope that they can grow up as friends and know that they'll always have each other.....

ProlificYoungGentlemenBreeder · 04/03/2012 20:16

I find having 2 great! I do have a very close gap perhaps that has something to do with it?
My 2 are quite different and yes some days I feel like I'm losing the plot. I try to feed, change and nap mine at the same time!
DS2 was in a routine from birth and I stuck to it and the toddler adapted after having little to no routine before hand.

You are more confident, assertive and by 6 months all feels kind of the new normal again.
My only guilt is that when I play with one, I should be playing with the other are they suffering etc?
They get on so well and I feel if anything I'm going to be ganged up on!

Humphrey is so right in saying that having a newborn and a toddler is easier than being pregnant and having a toddler.

ipanicked · 04/03/2012 20:35

My two are now 14mo and 2.9 now. I won't pretend, it nearly destroyed me and DH for a variety of reasons, but it is getting easier (though some days it doesn't feel it!). But the way they interact is just heart meltingly endearing. DS really looks out for DD and DD adores DS. They are starting to play together now which, when there's no arguing over toys, is very, very sweet.

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