DS2 rejects dad and only wants mummy

[Whizkidwithacrazystreak]

We are really struggling on many levels as DS2 (3 years old) has always been extremely attached to me. When he was a baby he used to crawl between myself and DH to separate us. Things have worsened now and he know wont even let DH change his nappy (can't wait for the day he gives them up). I want them to have a relationship and have discussed this with DH. He says that DS2 is fine if I am not in the house, however, I think that it would be beneficial if DH takes him out by himself and finds something special to do with DS2. DH thinks that I need to be around as well.

I have also asked that DH spends some time playing with the boys. He currently has 'special time' with DS1 (4 years) and I think that jealousy may play a part with DS2.

Has anyone experienced anything similar and if so can you provide any solutions?

Definitely DH has to take both sons out and play with them both at other times. Getting to know each other is the only way to make friends and, let's face it, DH is DS2's dad for life :) If they're fine when you're out of the house I'd say that was a positive thing. If DS2 kicks up a fuss about dad doing stuff for him when you are at home I'd also say 'don't step in'.... make it clear that dad's in charge of the nappy-change or whatever rather than letting DS2 call the shots.

Mummy's boy....too cute!!

DS (now 2.5 yo) was like this with DH and both he and I hated it so:

Mummy suddenly wouldn't read DS's favourite bedtime stories (my eyes broke apparently ) and they became Daddy books as he went to Daddy in desperation to have them read.

On DH's work at home day he takes DS to a playgroup for an hour or two.

DH takes the DC's out by himself at the weekend at least once - to the park, to the supermarket, to my mum's. He now takes them to London on the train and in April is taking them to Italy without me.

I talk about Daddy and make him sound really exciting. If there is something they really want to do I suggest Daddy takes them.

After tea I disappear and DH gets out a big pile of blankets and cushions and helps them build dens/forts with the dining table chairs.

He bakes cakes and other fun stuff but he also does baths and changes nappies, I won't help even if DS is screaming.

DS is only allowed to look at the Ipad if she is sitting next to him and DS has discovered that Daddy will sing the long versions of songs that Mummy doesn't know - he will use his Iphone to get the lyrics whereas when I sing there is a lot of 'dum dum de de, lalalaa' where I don't remember the lyrics.

DS loves watching shuttle launches/planes taking off and monster trucks etc on YouTube but only Daddy is willing to do this.

Quite often if DS rejects DH then DH will go and loudly do something interesting in another room, which piques DS's curiosity. Especially if he is doing that interesting thing with DD and DS feels that she is getting something he isn't. He often goes through and then I stay where I am whilst they play.

There are a lot of things that are solely 'Daddy things' and they are learning that if they want to do them they have to ask DH.