I am sick of constantly cooking

[WinkyWinkola]

and then when I put the food in front of them, it's to a chorus of yucks, urghs and "I'm not eating THAT!"

We are talking chicken stew and rice, roast chicken, spag bol, Lancashire hotpot, sausages and mash.

Even the 2 year old sneers at the food I make. I follow recipes religiously and dh days it tastes good.

They can live on fish fingers, pizza and tinned ravioli from now on. They can get obese for all I care. I'm sick of making the effort for nothing.

Cauliflower pizza base . See if they'll buy it, I don't think I do! (Anyway mine only like school pizza or frozen pizza . Nice home-made pizza is just not greasy enough I think).

Humphrey, how did you enforce the no yuk comment rule?

I got genuinely angry when they did it. I removed plates and demanded an apology. It worked, perhaps because I WAS livid each time. I would never have treated my own mother so rudely.

I wish I could extend this success to the rest of my DC's anti social habits

I agree with HC, yuk and negative comments aren't acceptable at the table.

MM - DS will only eat the cheapest pizzas, you know those ones that are 3 for £1.50. If I give him a nice looking one he'll turn his nose up at it.

Ditto if we are abroad and there are herbs on it. I'm afraid when this happens I do get genuinely arsey and explain that the option is eat it or go hungry. Seems to work, so maybe I should try it more on a day to day basis.

I have to say that I remember some truly disgusting school meals when I was a child that I was forced to chow down and almost made me sick - tinned spam, baked beans and smash mixed together ( and usually pellets still in it) anyone? So as a result I don't force the issue too much as I hate food turning into a battle.

Oh, I put carrots on pizzas! Grated carrots, grated courgettes. Have done it right from the start. Weirdly that's the two vegetables they now like in almost any form.

yes yuk comments not acceptable

wrt the food itself: it's very hard because we prepare with love, and it feels like a rejection of oneself, though it's not

sympathies all round, I have one very difficult eater with sensory issues

ooh, I'm liking the apology before I give it back. I think I will 'have a serioous talk' that it's unacceptable (have said it before but without being livid) and if it happens then I will crack down on it.

God it is hard work and mine are a bit older and not as fussy as they used to be.

I agree with the no yuk rule-I've said to them they don't have to like it, they don't have to eat it, but they must not complain about it.

I have been told in the past that i have no idea what it's like to deal with a genuinely fussy eater but fwiw here's what worked for our four. Sorry OP, I know you didn't want advice, you probably just want a rant and some sympathy.

Ours can leave anything they want on their plate. They have to try it, and they're not allowed to slag it off, they can say 'I'm not keen on it' or keep quiet. No one gets told off for not eating anything. I think it takes the pressure off. If one or two of them doesn't like it, I wouldn't take it off the menu, I would hope that they might be converted eventually, especially if the others are enthusiastic about it.

I always make a point of commenting positively on whatever we are eating, especially if someone else has cooked it. We all eat together and I don't feed them anything I wouldn't eat myself, which rules out nuggets, and bought pizza, or a lot of processed food.

It has worked, they do eat well and are adventurous when eating out.

My aim is for them to end up able to enjoy a wide variety of food as adults, where they will try new foods and be able to eat at a dinner party without making a fuss.

Obv we are lucky none have allergies, I do sympathise a lot with people who hae to deal with multiple ones.

Gosh, this problem is obviously up there for many!

Asinine - what do you do if they don't like it? Do you make something else?

If they dont like it, i don't offer anything else, it wouldn't cross their mind as i have never done that. They they do get pudding, though, and seconds of anything they do want to eat.

I don't think missing part of one meal is a problem. They all eat well now anyway, maybe one would pick out chorizo or mushroomfrom a dish, but it wouldn't be an issue. There would usually be potato, rice or pasta involved which they can eat.

Blimey, mine would skip to strawberries and ice-cream every time if they could.

They have to wait until everyone else is having pudding. They're not allowed to ask what's for pudding, if they do they'll get a nonsense answer. They get no pudding at all if they talk to or feed or mention the dog when we're eating and whoever has behaved worst during the main course would get served last for pudding.

I am a dragon, but they honestly don't my benign dictatorship....

Don't mind...obv

Well, if I let them have pudding later, my children would love it. If I give them something that they turn their noses up at, they will ask if they can go to bed without food, just so that they can get out of tasting it. They would rather do that and starve. Hard core children.

I found that when I stopped expecting whoops of praise, and served the 'proper' food up regardless of it's reception, my own attitude was calmer. Made no difference to their whining and shrieks of 'yuk, disgustingly' though. The food is served, it's nutritious, well cooked and appropriately seasoned. No snacks or bulky drinks (i.e milkshakes) in the hour before it hits the table. If they don't like it, they can ask to leave the table and go back to playing, and I'll set it aside for another offer after baths. No alternatives offered. No pudding for those that don't make a proper effort on their main course. Fruit and bread at 7pm if they've not eaten by bedtime. Mine are 2 & 4. This works around 70% of the time..

I think ours don't think of pudding as 'better' than the main, it's just another course. If you are told you have to eat x or you won't get y, then you are more likely to assume x is less desirable or tasty, or resent having to eat x. Imagine in a restaurant if the waiter said 'you haven't cleared your plate, so you can't have pudding'....

As an experiment, I just asked dd (7) what's her favourite things to eat, and she didn't mention pudding, even when I pushed her to name three things. Ds 11 also didn't come up with any puddings, just mains. When I asked him about pudding he said he prefers main courses.

I asked dh what he would do if they refused to eat dinner and were hungry at bedtime. He said he'd say it was tough.

This issue drives me mad too.

I take a lot of care over food and don't do really weird things but DS2 will not touch anything like meat (unless he is at school when he apparently gobbles down meatballs and spag and all sorts of other meaty dishes) and DS1 does not like anything with veg or fruit in it unless it is baked beans or peas. DW will not eat any kind of fish and shudders at fruit.

Try making a meal that does not contain fish, meat, veg or fruit!!!

Its the same very weekend. I really want to do a nice leg of lamb with roasted veg today - no chance. I have a lovely homemade lemon tart in the fridge. DSs already turned their noses up at the thought of it.

Pizza, spag bol, ice cream and beans on toast. That is what they woudl eat if I let them.

Wow, so much good advice here. As we speak, DH is cooking a lovely sweet and sour that I know DS is going to love and DD is going to whinge about.............what can I say that hasn't already been said.

Buy a copy of deceptively delicous. Has things like beetroot chocolate brownies. Noone notices and they are eating veg we they think it is junk. Result!

I have given up caring - I cook what DH and I enjoy and DS (11) can take it or leave it. If he doesn't eat it he can have bread/cheese/fruit (nothing cooked) instead. (If he 'leaves it' I use it for my own lunch the next day so nothing wasted). I never serve puddings, anyway he doesn't even have a sweet tooth so wouldn't be interested. He is incredibly fit and healthy (plays sport at county level) so I really don't think it matters anymore. Fortunately he will eat anything when he goes to other people's houses, so no one ever thinks he is 'fussy'.

Passing comments about the food someone else is eating is just awful. Parents should be able to eat whatever THEY like without ill-mannered remarks from DCs. They just need to be told, and told again that it is rude and not acceptable.
We have picky eaters here but they have accepted that everyone is entitled to eat their own food without interference/pressure.

I find what works for me is to make sure the DC are hungry at dinnertime. They have a piece of fruit (or sweets/lolly if they've had a class birthday) when we get home from school (about 3.30) and then nothing til dinner at 5.30.

I make sure the veg is dished up first, so it is the least hot thing on the plate, which means they normally eat that first.

If we're having something that one of them is less keen on, then they have a spoonful of it along with whatever is with it that they do like. DS is not a big fan of Chilli or Curry, so he has a spoonful with a larger portion of rice or cous-cous. DD1 not a big potato fan, so she has a bit more meat and veg if we have roast.

I try to talk about all dinners in the same way. If I look down on Fishfingers, no doubt they'd want them more . To be honest, if they're served up with salad and homemade wedges, fishfingers don't make that bad a meal.