I lost it with my 2 yr old & now feel terrible

[GavisconJunkie]

I'm 36 weeks pg with DC2. I'm a SAHM. DD1 is 2.2 & mostly lovely, but she is advanced in terms of language & doesn't stop using it. She has been challenging (more than usual) recently.

I think the reasons are obvious (large, tired, slow mummy, imminent arrival of baby, being 2!) & I usually have a large arsenal of tools, ie distraction, tome out, ignoring certain things etc.

Recently she has been getting more & more wound up about little things so tiny issues quickly escalate & no amount of reasoning works. This is coupled with very deliberate, dreadful behaviour; she definitely pushes softy daddy harder & speaks to him in a totally inappropriate way. She also does this to an extent with me. Getting to a very single minded, aggressive (very slightly) stage.

This morning in the shower she was playing on the floor but just going into a wound up meltdown for no obvious reason. I asked her to calm down, take a deep breath etc (often works) & she just started wailing & crying (again!!!). I just lost it totally, I screamed & I do mean screamed at her to stop, pack it in, I'd had enough, this had to stop etc. I don't know that I've ever lost it like that before.

It certainly worked. It shocked her & made it stop. She's been a bit clingy & eager to please all morning. Good as gold too. I'm trying to just move on & forget it but Thursday is her morning with nanny so I'm not with her. I feel terrible.

Anyone got any words of encouragement/advice?

Do not worry, we are only human, I had the same issue last night (my dd is 11) you cannot stay calm all the time x

Don't feel too bad.
I have a 2.5 yr old that I shouted to on Monday. Made matters far worse as he got really upset, but after that he seemed less moany.

Perhaps you can explain that you've been a bit grumpy recently and when we get grumpy and tired we sometimes shout, but it's all ok and that you still love her etc.

Keep trying to distract. Pull a stupid face, tell a daft joke, say there's a monkey hiding behind the sofa, come and look at this fantastic book you found in the bedroom etc. If that doesn't work deep breathing, singing and fake smiles and ignoring work for me. Good luck. I'm amazed at how much a two yr old tests my patience.

Congratulations you're human and you've brought your daughter one step closer to knowing that.

Did you recognise the feeling that you were going to lose it just before you did? Next time remember the shouting incident and it should stop you doing it again.

I have DS 2.4 and DD (3 months) so completely understand. Boy it is hard to stay calm at times! I usually have to force myself to stay calm - usually I ignore the screaming and pretend I'm not there for a bit and carry on with what I'm doing as it's the only way.

When DS cries or melts down, I usually tell him to stop crying if I have no patience (if it's fake tears) - and it usually works. Not always. Sometimes I do raise my voice to e heard over his noise and that's enough to keep me calm. Its bloody hard though!!!

When you see her, give her a big cuddle and say you were sorry for shouting as you were a bit tired/sad/etc. Dont tell her it was anything to do with her. Have a nice afternoon and forget all about it.

Yes, I think your dd has learned an important lesson today.

My sympathies; it is v difficult being heavily pregnant with a toddler. I seem to remember I was a harridan throughout.

Thank you so much everyone. I'm feeling a bit better (despite having just trekked round Sainsbury). Just glad that I'm not a monster!