DC3 or not? How big a factor was DH's age in deciding?

[belwiz]

We have DS (4yo) and DD (2yo) and had always wanted a third, but having found DC2 pretty tough going (silent reflux, "assertive" as a toddler, etc) we are going round in circles trying to decide whether we should stop at 2 or go for a third. One factor is DH's age - he would be 47 when DC3 came along if we TTC now. Do you think 47 is "old" in this context? DH raised this as a possible con. Would you perceive the risk of complications to be greatly increased with paternal age? I only ask because my bro has ASD and I'd read that paternal age can be a factor in ASD. Sorry about the series of questions - in total decision-making quandry

we decided to stop at 2. We didnt even think about age although neither of us are 40 yet. It was the thought of rearranging the house, going back to sleeplessness nights etc that put us off having any more. We also have a boy and a girl (age 5 and 8) and that is enough for us. We havent made any permanent contraceptive choices though as that would be too final!

Paternal age is probabaly a factor because men with ASD (likely undiagnosed for 40+ demographic) are likely to reproduce later in life because they have more social difficulties in earlier life. ASD is genetic IMO. Assuming that your husband does not have ASD, I think there's more chance it would come from your genes. If it came at all. My brother has ASD. As does my son.

arghmyear, that's a v interesting perspective. Obviously, it wouldn't be the end of the world if any of the DC had ASD, but given my brother's experiences, it's at the back of my mind when considering all the possible factors.

arghmyear, that's a v interesting perspective. Obviously, it wouldn't be the end of the world if any of the DC had ASD, but given my brother's experiences, it's at the back of my mind when considering all the possible factors.

I wouldn't let it hold me back if you really want three. DH is 45 now and we've just had our first (I'm 26, so quite a big age gap) and we both definitely want a second, maybe more. His age might not be ideal, but I really think wanting another child and knowing that child will be wanted and them having loving parents overrides the age thing.

DH is 44 that is.. oops. I bet I'll be the type of person who will forget her DCs names ages and DOBs.

I didn't consider DH's age a factor, I am 32 and DH was 47 when DC3 came along. I think it depends more what type of parent he is, DH is very hands on and we do stuff pretty much equally as far as possible, I wouldn't have considered DC3 if this wasn't the case ! FWIW we have DD(4), DS3 and DD2 (1) and I don't regret for a moment having a third, our family feels complete now and they get on well, the amount of washing is a nightmare though! Good luck!