Being invited around to play

[vvviola]

What do people do about their children being asked to play at other houses when you don't know the parents.

DD is 4, at pre-school. As we were leaving the other day, a Mum asked did DD want to come and play on Friday. I said sure, thinking it was a general invite (tea for parents, kids can play), it was only afterwards that I realised she meant she would collect DD from pre-school with her daughter.

DH has hit the roof (well, in his mild-mannered way), about the idea of letting DD go home with someone we don't know. We've never been in this situation before - all other 'playdate' invites have been from people we know to some extent (even if it's just months of chatting at pick-up time)

Now, DD is sick, so I'll be cancelling this week anyway. But what do people do about this sort of invite? DD has only been in the pre-school a few weeks, so we haven't had a chance to get to know anyone.

Am I (and DH, who is more insistent it shouldnt happen) completely over thinking this? What do people usually do about this sort of invite?

I would say that I wanted to cone along to get to know other mum better and have time for a chat so you can get to know them

Personally it wouldn't worry me, but if you want to check them out a bit first you can use the child as an excuse rather than saying it straight out - 'Would you mind if I brought her round myself, she hasn't been on many playdates and can be a bit nervous, is it all right if I come with her just to get her settled?'

A parent said this to me once when I invited her ds for a playdate and I am sure the motive was partly to check everything was ok but that is fair enough IMO; other parents inviting my kids have sometimes said straight out 'You don't know us so I expect you'd like to come with them to start with.' Now when I ask someone for the first time I always include a coffee invitation for the parent and some take me up on it and some don't.

It's all normal IME - some parents stress about it, some don't, both positions are understandable.

I just let it Be Known that I would be coming to all dd's playdates when she was 4-5. That stopped in year 1 - partly as by then I knew the parents at least a bit.