Not sure whether to have a third child

[nappynovice]

I've got 2 lovely children DD 4 and DS 22 mths, I'm a SAHM as I gave up work after my son was born. I've been thinking about going back to work when my daughter starts school in September as although I love the children, am struggling with being at home with them all the time. We always said we wanted 3 children (before we had any!) but after my son, we pretty much decided we'd stick at two. My husband has now decided he'd like another and wants me to think "seriously" about it.
I struggled with my 2 previous pregnancies with sickness and back and pelvis pain so did not enjoy them and wasn't exactly glowing! I also feel a bit like we had left all the baby stuff behind i.e. sleepless nights and uncertainty of a newborn. Plus, it would delay me going back to work as we couldn't afford the child care needed. I really don't know what to think as having said all of this: I think I do want another.
How easy is it to adapt to 3?
Sorry such a long post but am torn...

Hi there. I have three dds and feel the same. Am unsure whether to have another. They r under 5 so I would wait a few years but unsure whether I just secretly want a boy?

I have very rough pregnancies with non stop sickness and looking after the others whilst pregnant is sooooo hard yet I'm craving a fourth dc?

I also want to go back to work and get my life back to "normal" so having another would b a step back in that regard ? I don't want to look back and regret not having another iyswim?

Going back to your situation, three is do much harder than 2. I am EBF ing as well so I have hardly any time to myself as well. Two DC s are easy and manageable but with three u have to spread yourself out quite thinly. I'm also trying to lose the baby weight and am annoyed that this is the third time I'm having to do this as its a pita.

Sorry I don't seem to b much help

I have dd nearly 4 ds 2.2 and am 5 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I was dead set on only 2 for ages after ds due to health problems as a result of having two giant dc but it just kept gnawing away at me... I used to wake up thinking about it etc. Dh and I had a conversation about winning the lotto and he said something along the lines of "imagine being able to have anything you want" and I replied that I still wouldn't have a baby.

It may sound silly but it really made me realise I'd probably always regret it if I didn't try again. When I saw the positive poas last week I can't tell you how happy we were. No doubts left at all..

Well, I think it's a whole different ball game when they start school. 3 is a lot easier then!

Why don't you wait another year and see how you feel? Go back to work meanwhile and get a balanced view?

Thanks for your responses. I don't want to go back to work then decide I'm going to get pregnant and then have to leave because I can't afford childcare for 3 kids! But I get your point about leaving it for a while. Am confused as some people say having a third is easier as the third one just fits into your routine and you hardly notice they're there! Mind you, people said that about having a second and that definitely hasn't been my experience...!!

I definitely found the third to be easier to slot into the family, but then we always wanted three, so I didn't have the uncertainty/doubt that you have.

I had mine close together (DS1 was only 3 when the youngest was born) which was hideous for the first year, but life returned to normal once they were all at school; I had a total of six years off work.

Well, going back to work would at least mean you get maternity pay! I have 3 DCs (4, 2.5 and 8mths) and DC3 has just slotted into the routine - mind you, it is a 24-hour backbreaking routine :o

I felt that same as you and really couldn't ignore the niggle of wanting a third so we went for it and now have DS1 4, DS2 22 mos and DD 4 weeks! So far so good but can't tell how much more complicated life will get.

My advice is that you will never regret having another baby but you might regret NOT having one.

Good luck!

im 6 months pregnant with my 3rd. had very bad pelvic pain with Ds2 but not this time around (touch wood). im def more tired now than when pregnant with DS2.
Ds1 is 3.5 and DS2 is almost 2.

i know it will be hectic, but im really happy to have a third!

I was you, about wo years ago, then had baby DD and toddler DS. We decided to go for it only to hit fertility problems. The problems made us want a baby more tbh and after 2 years of trying and the upset every month of no BFP we decided to call it a day.

I went back to college to start all over again. Both children in school half day nursery (small gap so in same year this year) DH retaining in his career so cash is non existent, moved to a diff house thats fine for two dc, a four seater car.....you get the picture.

We really resolved the life we have to just having the two and appreciating that they were both here happy and healthy. We decided to take advantage of the situation we were in as we couldnt have another and enjoy what we could have instead.

Well of course then i fell bloody pregnant

Quite honestly the sheer joy that we felt with the BFP and the big grin on my face right now proves to me i would have been kidding myself and Im so so happy that we are hopefully going to have another child. I have shitola pregnancies, not a well bunny anyway and the extra strain is a real strain, on me and DH, but he is wonderful and picks up the slack and then some, it doesnt last long really and then that little life will be a huge part of our family forever :)

(secretly thinking this might be the one that wins the lotto when he's older and sends me and DH on a retirement cruise )