'Mummy' obsessed toddler. Help please

[Tumblemum]

My ds is 26 months and is happy outgoing child. I am pg expecting new baby at Easter. He starts to shreak and crawl up my skirts whenever my dh attempts to do anything with him, dressing, coat on or off, nappy change, getting out of bed etc... It is driving me nuts and in the last week I have snapped at him which I don't want to do. Dh is great with him, but is dealing with ds's hysteria quite impassively but I have said to him to try and calmly continue wiht the task but it does not seem to work - ds is behaving like dh is going to torture him. I am worried how we are going to manage when the new baby arrives as dh will have to do more and situation very difficult now.

Anyone dealt with similar situation? Tips for dh and me please

go out! have a few afternoons/mornings out and just leave them to get on with it

oh god htey sundely get into their dads at almost 3

you do need to go o out sneakilty an make dh do stuff

The problem is when I am home and dh is doing something with ds, often leave ds with dh and nursery and others and there is no problem. The problem is when I am present.

Just totally ignore any screaming etc, get dh to praise him when he's good. Totally ignore crawling or take him to a safe place and say i'm leaving you here untill you stop whinging. Then if he's good go and play for ten minutes but only when he's stopped whinging. Its the whole negative attention thing that he sounds like hes doing so ignore him would be my suggestion. x

Just totally ignore any screaming etc, get dh to praise him when he's good. Totally ignore crawling or take him to a safe place and say i'm leaving you here untill you stop whinging. Then if he's good go and play for ten minutes but only when he's stopped whinging. Its the whole negative attention thing that he sounds like hes doing so ignore him would be my suggestion. x

yeah agree with trying not to get involved. if he starts up then leave the room/hide somewhere.

yes so go out when ds and dh are not looking ( onbv tell dh first ) and ds will get used to it

it really is a phase - mine used to yell when i went out wiht ds1 and ds2

now he loves being left iwht his dad - he is three in march

a phase

There is not a problem with me leaving the house, it is when I am there in the house and dh is trying to do things with him, ds wants me to do everything for him.

I will have to physically detach him from me and put him on the naughty step I supppose or get dh to take him into another room.

no i am not saying its to do wiht leaving
but if you GO they have to function together then when ytou are there he will be used to ebing with dad more

if you're there tell him what's going to happen.

ie "daddy is going to get you dressed now".

then dh goes in to do it and you leave the room. lock yourself in toilet or something. so he knows you are there but dh has to just get on with it

cod he is used to being with his dad on his own, has been since birth for quite extended periods

when tell him that dh is going to do something that is when he goes crazy and hides behind my skirts, tears etc...

Thanks for the suggestions, anyone else got experience of this?

Thank god someone else with the same problem!
I cant help you though sorry. Im trying to work it out myself.
My DD is 20 months and tells me she 'not like dada' and refuses to let him do anything for her. I have to carry her, hold her hand etc.
If im not there shes fine and also if he makes her play with him ie they dance together or he bounces her on the bed then she is fine for a while. But generally she follows me about the house crying. This weekend I shouted at her to get out of my way as I was trying to cook and shes climbing my leg. I hate shouting at her as I feel so bad.
Ive no idea how or why it started nor when it will stop.
Hope it gets better for both of us.

kbaby thanks for posting, good not to be alone on this, my snap at ds was similar to yours he was so upset....
i have resolved to keep trying and keep trying to be relaxed and offer as much love as he needs from me and maybe then he will not need me so much, if that makes sense...
bit worried how I will cope once new baby arrives, maybe disguise and name change will be the way to go x

2.1 at age 2 has a tendency to scream "Mummy !" in such an extravagant way, he should be in films.

As his work at home dad, I was vaguely worried by this, until I disocvered that when I left the room he wailed piteously for me.

It's worth checking if it's not simply a desire to have that which he doesn't have.

tumblemum, ive been thinking the same as im due in July. Im just hoping that it passes as quickly as it started

Hi Tumblemum,
Had exactly the same problem with my then 2 and a half year old ds. Was really worried about the arrival of our new baby as ds wouldn't let anyone near him but me, and was really clingy. Don't know what happened but as soon as he met his new baby brother he completely changed, and was happy for his dad to do things for him, and was less clingy. As always, I'm sure it's just a phase and he will be fine. Obviously make a real fuss of him when the new baby arrives. Our ds was really chuffed that his new brother had bought him a Dyson!! (toy one of course!!) Funny how they change so quickly. Loads of luck, I'm sure everything will be fine.