More of a WWYD

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

Oldest DS (4) starts school in September. He is currently at a nursery which is part of an excellent Prep school. He loves it, lots of outdoor ed, climbing trees etc. It also has excellent wrap around care and as I work 3 days a week term time only, the days he goes are easy to get him there, pick up etc. Very little stress on us all. My second child (2) can now also start if we want him too. But we would be hard up, no nice breaks away, watch the pennies every month and I would have to work full time.

Our local state school is good. We would financially be much better off if he went there. I can continue to work part time and we can have lovely breaks away every half term. I can be at home for youngest child. But....drop offs and pick ups are going to be a nightmare. The small village we live in has no childminders. We have lots of family locally so we could manage but it would be disjointed and stressful as I also need to get youngest DS to nursery. Once they are both at the school it will be much easier as they do have a breakfast club, sadly this isn't much use in sep as I can't get there, drop of 2nd DS and get to work on time. I worry oldest DS will struggle with changes of routine all the time...well 3 days a week.

My final option is to reduce my hours to 2 days, ironically we would almost be as poor as the private school option.

So what do I do.? DH has no involvement in childcare as he is total arse (another thread!). Feel overwhelmed and under pressure and could really do with DH giving a dam! :(

Given the options you describe, I'd go for the state school 3-day shuffle and keep your luxuries.

My reasons for this are:

• Your oldest might really enjoy seeing extended family 3 days a week
• It will be easier (on your conscious at least) to later move to private school if the state option doesn't work out
• You can keep the nice holidays and things, which will benefit the kids too
• if you'd struggle to pay nursery/school/wrap around care fees for two now, then you'd probably struggle to pay school fees/wrap around care for 2 later. If the state school is good, I'd rather keep the option if part-time and no money worries at a later date than start down the private school route now and end up working lots of hours to cover all the fees

That's just why I'd do though, others place more value on a private education

Thank you for your thoughts. I was told that if I went full time to pay for private education, I would then find it hard to go back to part time at a later date if needed. I am lucky to have he part time role I do now as it is term time only.

I disagree with HAAS! The private option sounds like a fantastic education and much less stress on you all. The children won't miss nice holidays but giving them an awesome start educationally can't be overvalued. I know many teachers who say that the best combination is private primary/junior and state secondary. It is worth asking your prep school if they offer bursaries - they nearly always do (to do with maintaining their status as charities) and are frequently on the lookout for people to give bursaries to!

Does your DH have an opinion at all??? As you say, another thread!

Don't even ask about DH....we are not talking!
My concern about the private option is for my youngest who would then have to go full time at just 2. They would be very happy there together though.
It is such a hard decision and it is giving me sleepless nights! I am worried that secondary schools locally are a worry and would we then be able to afford it having spent so much in prep.......but prep would more likely get his a music award etc to get a discount at secondary??

Its so hard to know if I am being sensible about the finance too. Is it rude to take figures here?

You can talk figures if you want to - I don't think being coy about money helps, particularly in straitened times!

Ok here goes!

a) I work full time and both DC go to private school (I have looked at fees for Y5 and Y3 as an example) we would have £900 left per month after bills.

b) I work 3 days and juggle child care with DC at state school. We have £1500 left after bills.

c) I work 2 days and DC go state. We have £1100 left.

I guess with option b, we would be able to save for secondary ed which at the moment is over 2k a month for 2 DC from my research :0

If they're the figures, I'd go with option a - you will still be able to afford holidays etc if you have £900 left each month! And there might be an option to change your working pattern etc down the line :)

Sorry to switch my view entirely, but I thought from your OP that you'd be really stretched to put them both in private education.

thank you for your reply. The trouble is that secondary will be at least 2k a month so leaving us just £300 a month........so hence my worry about saving now. Prep is affordable but I would worry that we would get to the end of the prep school and be unable to afford secondary :( Or does that matter??

A private primary and state secondary is supposed to be the ideal mix. All the excellent-early-start stuff plus the more democratic environment of the state sector.

Incidentally DH and I both work ft and we have £53.64 left at the end of the month if I'm thrifty with the food shopping.

I think you are spot on about the early start but I also worry that the exam years are also really vital. To be honest I think I am letting my fears of DS reaction to moving to a new school dominate my thinking but I just hate seeing him unsettled :(