how upset do you get when other people criticize your kids?

[happymummy28]

My dc is still only a baby really - 14mths. We were at playgroup having snack and he wanted to get up. Tried to stop him a few times and and then let him get up and wander round.

Another mum I know a little came up and said "he's being a little terror today". I just ignored her.

Usually he is fine btw - having his biscuit and milk nicely.

Then a week later my dc was sitting nicely at snack time and the same mother comes up and says "he's being good today, usually he's really naughty isn't he?".

I just feel really irritated by her - I just ignored her - I don't want to make a big deal out of it but just wondered if anyone else had this problem and how they dealt with it. Her ds is 2.5 and has never been pestered or anything by my dc so don't know why she is so interested in my dc.

Just ignore her.

I have a 14mo. They are far too little to reliably sit if they have decided they don't want to! Not a terror.

I would be annoyed but I'd either ignore completely or just say no he's not naughty he's a wee cracker and he's still learning.

Thanks - it seems I was right just to ignore then - will just try and stay out of her way in future!
I am just no good at thinking up replies on the spot especially when I am trying to deal with my ds.
I just hate the way some people say negative things your kids then seem to expect you to agree with them!

Ignoring it is the best way and try not to let it bother you. Easier said than done I know. My DS1 is 4 now and it took me a while but now those sorts of comments hardly even register with me. Sounds like your little one is more interested in exploring than eating. Hardly terrible behaviour so don't worry

I think it sounds like she's just trying to make conversation and maybe bond a bit over the 'they're all little terrors, aren't they?!' sort of territory. I don't think anyone can seriously think that a fourteen month old is naughty, can they? People say it all the time about my sixteen month old, who is always trying to stand on chairs etc., but I perhaps mistakenly think they're joking!

However, if someone genuinely criticises my 3yo ds I become heart-thudding lioness mother!

Ummm OP I must be the worst mother cos I don't even think its bad that my 2 (14mo and 2.8) wander around at snack time . Actually I'm a bit shocked your LO got branded a terror and naughty at 14mo for completely normal behaviour.

That aside, I do get properly annoyed or upset when people say silly stuff like this to me, but unless something is genuinely offensive I normally ignore, smile and avoid that person like the plague as much as possible..

I turn into a monster. Not quite the same thing but when my DS was about 8 months we were out with him and a woman said "Oh, he's going to be a little fatty when he's older". I replied by saying "I have no doubt he will lose his baby fat. You, on the other hand, will always be ugly". I have no idea where it came from.

I also can't stand it when people clearly have no experience of toddlers at all and consequently no sympathy. I was in the shoe shop the other day (DS is now 15 mo) and he was taking all the shoes off the shelves (i was running around after him putting them back) and the woman (girl really) working there looked down her nose at him and actually tried to tell him not to put the shoes in his mouth! That's MY hecking job! But he's 15 mo FFS!

Mantana - that is a bit like:

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." -- Winston Churchill

OP - ignore her she sounds a bit crazy.

thanks for the other replies -haha matana your post made me laugh! Glad to know it's a common-ish problem anyway -

I now remember a friend invited herself round when my ds was about 8mths - he was gabbling when she was rambling on about her love life and she told him to shush! I let it go the first time but she did it again so I said "don't shush him" then she said she did it because she thought he was in distress! Like, even if he was (which he clearly wasn't) I was right there so would obviously have been the person to deal with anything.

Maybe the woman at the playgroup was trying to bond - I don't know she is just a bit odd I think. She always makes slightly supercilious comments to her own ds about other kids anyway for example, when a younger kid (not mine) when up to hers in the wendy house (in a friendly way) "just ignore him darling, he'll lose interest". Not at all friendly.

I just get so annoyed about these sort of unecessary remarks but think all those saying ignore are right - I could try the cutting reposte but aren't that good at thinking on the hoof and so risk ending up in a full blown row!

Yeah, i must admit DH said he didn't know how i didn't end up with a smack in the mouth from the woman. It's actually not like me at all really, i normally subscribe to the 'ignore and take the moral high ground' ethos and avoid conflict at all costs. Must have been having a bad day!

Anyway, 14 month olds can't be 'naughty' - they are not old enough to know the 'rules'. The woman sounds like a complete numpty.

"You're being really snarky today, but usually you're quite nice, aren't you?"

Or something else suitably passive-aggressive. OK I'd never have the presence of mind to come up with something like that in the moment, nor the guts to say it but really.. she sounds like a bit of a cow. Ignore & move on, I'd say.

I think a lot of the time with toddlers, we're judging them by our adult standards, and expecting them to be miniature adults and when they're not they're seen as 'difficult' or 'naughty'. They're just discovering about the world and learning about things.

When they were younger and especially my first I used to quite out of my pram about it. There's nothing worse (or more boring) than competitive mums comparing your kids to hers. Now they are much older I couldn't care less really. She sounds like the sort of person you might want to avoid... just for your own sanity. Oh and 14 months not wanting to sit down for biscuit and milk ..... isn't that normal? If not, then my kids were complete tearaways!!!