Arghhhhhh really need to Vent!!!! Phd related...

[newyearnewattitude]

Arghhhhhhhhhh

Ok, really need to vent! I am 2 and a half years into my qualitative phd and have some really good interviews to analyse in a sensitive area...

I had to take a break of 6 months to have dd (now 2) but have come back to it and am really trying... Funding ran out (didnt have maternity pay but thats another story) so have had to take on paid work 3 days a week and at the advice of my supervisors went part time from 1st feb to give me extra breathing space....

They have had me working on the poxy theoretical chapter for months now, changing the structure etc and coming back with all sort of comments including grammar but basically holding me up on my analysis and yet the other phd students here do that chapter after their analysis!

Anyway, final meeting today about the chapter and they drop a bombshell that perhaps i should just aim for an mphil!

I don't want a bloody mphil! I want to work towards a phd! Thats why i put my life on hold for 3 years, thats why i spend £1100 a month on full time childcare for dd, thats why i have no holidays etc and they now suggest a bloody mphil???? Arghhhhhh

I actually cried in the meeting, excused myself for 5 mins and went to the toilet cursing them and calling them bitches under my breath!!

When i went back in they tried to say how it wouldnt stop me trying for a phd etc and that i can give the analysis a go etc but ffs! I am so pissed off!!! If they had let me get on with my analysis and followed the writing schedule we had agreed last year for my transfer report then i would have that all done and would be staring that chapter now followed by the discussion and conclusion!

Arghhhhhhh thank you for letting me vent!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has cried in supervision meetings , hope you are feeling better now.

I think you have to remember that it is your phd, not your supervisors' and they are there to advise you, but ultimately it is up to you to decide what to do when and when it is finished etc. Perhaps you could explain that you feel you ought to leave that chapter for now and come back to it afterwards.

I spoke to a colleague/former lecturer of mine and she said I need other mentors and cannot rely solely on my supervisors for support (not that I have yet managed to find any takers for the 'mentor' role). Perhaps you are friendly with someone who can give some extra advice.

I know that at my uni there is a procedure to follow if you are not happy with your supervisors and there is always someone else available to talk to in confidence, so it might be a good idea to do that, if possible.

Good luck.