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Original poster

Advice needed re 5 y/o dd

51 replies

mindboggler · 27/02/2012 16:34

I posted this in behaviour/development but I think that was the wrong place and here is better - I hope its ok to cross post

anyway, now I have your attention, here is my problem. I hope you can help...

I hope someone can help me, or has been through the same thing!

My daughter, aged 5, has always been very interested in the concepts of boyfriends and girlfriends, but recently its becoming overt.

For example I over heard laughing as she said to her best friend ? a boy something along the lines of 'eat the sausage, eat the sausage', and was encouraging him to take his clothes off, until I intervened.

Then, today, she apparently pulled up her top when at a friend's house, another boy, and said 'suck my boobies to death'. The mum has just had a word with me in the playground. I'm mortified.

I have heard one of her little friends say 'you have a boyfriend that kisses your boobies', to her mum, which I was shocked at, but this seems worse.

She also has an older friend, who is 7, who is lovely but has been telling her about snogging and has been demonstrating on the back of her hand.

She is very curious about penises and tries to sneak up on her dad getting dressed.

She is also obsessed with my boobs and tries to touch them or look at them when I'm not looking.

I have let her watch films involving boyfriend and girlfriend, including that stultifyingly dull series about that American girl marrying a Danish prince that was on CBBC recently. She also loves the Disney Princess films, but Sleeping Beauty has inpired a kissing to wake up game, so I have 'accidentally' lost that DVD.

I'm trying to edit out any films that might have boyfriend girlfriend references or kissing, but I only seem to be left with scary films. Even Nanny McPhee or the Mighty Ducks sets her off.

She has a toy lipstick and eyeshadow set she wears occasionally when playing dress up games ? could this be making her sexual at a young age?

I'm at a loss.

Is this normal?

What can I do to stop this?

OP posts:
Rindercella · 27/02/2012 22:01

Christ, does the '1' next to the Facebook link at the top of the page mean that some idiot has shared this thread on FB? MNHQ, I think you really need to rethink the whole Facebook thing. There was another very upsetting thread the other day (which got deleted) which was also shared on Facebook via the link.

OP, I echo what others have suggested. Speak to a professional.

Stunnedagain · 27/02/2012 22:03

Lissielou, not flippant. Completely overwhelmed with mentions of police when I thought I was having a discussion about simply getting DC to stop talking about boobs. If anything I'm naive.

OracleInaCoracle · 27/02/2012 22:05

rindercella, yep. but it was always possible to link to FB. someone has chosen to link it, and thats up to them.

OP, the thing is, usually when a thread is suspected people post "warnings" like "welcome to MN" "interesting first post" or "There R Other Life Lines", but MNHQ have cracked down on troll hunting, so people are reading and reporting. hence the surprise at the deletion, there was no sign that it was about to go IYKWIM.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
OracleInaCoracle · 27/02/2012 22:06

yes, but it did read as flippant, and combined with your title and the recent spate of sickos trolls, you surely see why people reported?

madwomanintheattic · 27/02/2012 22:07

so make up makes you sexual. like wearing pink makes you gay?

ok, if you were serious about the make up (!) don't worry about it. make up doesn't give small girls intimate knowledge about eating sausage or sucking boobs. not possible.

whether you choose to think more about letting dd play with make-up and whether this is contributing in some way to her overall demeanour and interest in things which you feel are not age appropriate, that's another matter.

but letting her wear lippie won't mean she suddenly gains knowledge of sex acts. so the 'sexual' bit in ref to the make-up was a bit weird (imho), unless the films you have been letting her watch include sucking penises (and calling them sausages)and breasts, it's unlikely you are culpable in any way.

but you do need to gently work out where she got this stuff from. and deal with it appropriately. and it won't be from max factor.

OracleInaCoracle · 27/02/2012 22:07

ps, I didnt "recommend" Blush realised that my comment to rinders could be construed that way!

BrianCoxHasScaryHair · 27/02/2012 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stunnedagain · 27/02/2012 22:09

No. I think there are several over hysterical people here. I didnt ask anyone anything except for advice, I didn't ask for your stories.

But I'm going to bow out now, this is stress I don't need.

BrianCoxHasScaryHair · 27/02/2012 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OracleInaCoracle · 27/02/2012 22:12

ok, well I cant explain any clearer than that. If you choose not to see, thats up to you. you knew the title would raise eyebrows hence your "anyway, now I have your attention, here is my problem. I hope you can help" line (which, on the other thread was more like "that got your attention".

I will also be bowing out, and I wish you well.

OracleInaCoracle · 27/02/2012 22:13

oh, and quickly, not several over hysterical people, several posters who have been abused and have been asked for details of that abuse by trolls who get their kicks from the stories.

but, hey, if thats hysterical....

Bohica · 27/02/2012 22:14

I would be concerned about the eating the sausage comment and also have a look at what you are allowing heer to watch on the TV.

I know nothing about the other thread.

madwomanintheattic · 27/02/2012 22:15

'i hope someone can help me, or has been through the same thing'

looking for people who have been through the same thing can sometimes be read as looking for other people to share similar experiences, tell their stories.

hope you get to the bottom of it, anyway.

madwomanintheattic · 27/02/2012 22:17

i didn't see the other thread. i saw it was a multiple thread start and so didn't open. no idea what heppened on that one as i didn't read it.

nenevomito · 27/02/2012 22:26

Generally, folk who start threads about "sex crazed" 5yos acting inappropriately and asking if anyone else has the same problem, will get raised eyebrows. Thank god.

BrianCoxHasScaryHair · 27/02/2012 22:36

have to say, agree with the general sentiment of skepticism, given the title.

But, had been questioning my child's obsession with all things body-related recently, and not known how to broach the subject here, which would be the best place but understandably, who's going to want to say 'oh yes, well DD said xyz and did xyz so I just said blah blah and that was that'.

So, I am prepared to believe OP is genuine, as they've come back and are expecting a reply from MN and given what they've said on this thread about work email etc.

However, thread title is very misjudged and inappropriate and if the thread is not deleted (which if genuine, hopefully won't be) should be changed.

There must be a way to understand what is normal behaviour, and discuss appropriately, without allowing some lurking pervert to get their kicks (general lurking perverts)?? This is one parenting area I find myself at a loss to discuss with friends/mums in the playground and MN would be an ideal place to get information, but understandably - very touchy subject.

I am talking from the perspective of natural inquisitiveness rather than looking for signs of abuse (although being more aware of the former would help with the latter I assume)

Of course, I may be utterly out of touch and every other parent know all this anyway Blush

QuintessentialyHollow · 27/02/2012 22:38

crass heading. Bound to get pervs. Unless, the op is also a perv keen to meet other pervs.

QuintessentialyHollow · 27/02/2012 22:39

I would be concerned about what she is hearing at home, and would report to social services or the school if I overheard a young child speak like this.

HulaDeHoop · 27/02/2012 22:42

OP, I have no advice other than the above with regards to the inappropriate behaviors she has been showing.

I would however question how she (and I am paraphrasing now) no films to watch as you have cut out the boyf/girlf films.

Are there no other programmes across the whole Cartoonito/Boomerang/CBBC/CBeebies/Disney ranges that she can watch?

I don't understand why on earth a 5 year old would be watching films like Mighty Ducks Hmm

BrianCoxHasScaryHair · 27/02/2012 22:46

Mighty Ducks - that was on Disney Cinemagic (or whatever it's called) last year (before I cancelled the channel) What's wrong with it? Apart from it being tedious and boring and about...ice hockey? Blush thought it was a kids film, isn't it?

HulaDeHoop · 27/02/2012 22:52

I don't think it's inappropriate, as you say, it is a kids film.

I am just wondering that the OP seems to have no other films for her DD to watch other than Mighty Ducks (which apparently also sets her DD off)

BrianCoxHasScaryHair · 27/02/2012 22:56

ooh, right, I see.

Smile
scottishmummy · 27/02/2012 22:58

your post is v distasteful and title is crass and provocative

HulaDeHoop · 27/02/2012 23:08

Have you spoken to the class teacher/HT OP?

MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 27/02/2012 23:30

Hi there
We have changed the thread title of this thread.
THanks
M Towers

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