Can I encourage independence in a 2 yr old?

[IWillOnlyEatBeans]

DS just turned two last week.

He has no desire at all to be independent in anything. His most-used phrase is 'mama do it' - which is so completely at odds with all of his little friends, who are fighting to do everything themselves!

He is a very clingy boy. At playgroup he wants to be right by my side at all times, preferably with me actively involved in whatever he is doing. He will play by himself for short periods only if there are no other children around. His second most often used phrase is 'no people there'. I take him to 3 or 4 groups per week and have done since he was tiny, so it's not lack of experience/exposure.

He makes no attempt at all to dress or undress himself. He'll only feed himself if I leave the room at mealtimes (not ideal!)

So is there anything I can do to encourage some independence - particlularly in group activities/situations? Or will pushing him before he is 'ready' be a complete waste of time? I am worried that his behaviour seems so unlike all of his peers'.

Thanks

It's confidence-building really. Some are fiercely independent from the off. Others will do as little as they can get away with. :) 'Help' often makes a difference if a task seems too daunting. Start small by you putting on one shoe and he puts on the other to lavish praise. Put alternate toys away... he does one, you do the next. If you have to leave the room before he'll feed himself I'd say make a habit of it. If he goes to groups maybe you could organise to leave him there for a few minutes and step outside ... see what happens?

Thanks Cogito.

If I do have to leave him for a few mins at groups (to go to the loo for example!) he is always in floods of tears when I come back, then asks to go home.

I'm on tea/coffee/juice/biscuit duty at playgroup tomorrow...I might try and resurrect the Baby Bjorn! :)

He is really good at doing 'tasks' for me (going to put stuff in the bin, tidying in toys). I will lavish praise about him being helpful and see how we go!

Thanks. It's good to know I'm doing things along the right lines...

Have you tried acting stupid? Putting his shoes on your feet, trousers on his head etc. He might show you how its really to be done? Not sure if he is too young for this as ds is only 20 months and doesn't really get this yet, just giggles. (It is much quicker if you don't have to have them trying to do everything themselves, by the way - silver lining).

If he is clingy, getting you to do everything is maybe just a strategy to keep you close. Ds ask me to put blocks in a shape sorter that he has been happily doing himself, I think just as a way of asking for attention.

And unless your ds is tiny a Baby Bjorn will cripple you with a toddler in! I'm anything for an easy life and just put ds on my hip and do everything one handed if I can. Letting him stick by you might give him the confidence boost he needs to toddle off.