Am I the only one....

[timeforbedyet]

I start every day with such good intentions, but in the chaos of getting out of the house by 7.30 on the three days that I work I end up losing my cool. My DD is 4 and DS 2, and they are much adored, yet I get tunnel vision in the mornings and can't see past the fact that I need to leave the house roughly on time. In hind sight I know that I have handled things terribly yet I make the same mistakes every time.

As is always the case on the three days that she goes to nursery my DD cries from the minute she wakes up saying she doesn't want to go. I have tried everything, consoling, getting her excited about the day and just carrying on regardless with a big smile on my face to try and lift her out of it. After refusing to get out of bed, dress, brush her teeth, put her shoes on, put her coat on etc etc I found my patience evaporating and when she refused to put her hat on I just shouted 'fine' and went to see to my DS. She then gets really frustrated and in a panic. I can really recognise her behaviour as similar to my own yet I can't seem to make it better for her. It ended in a stand off with her refusing to come out of her room as she couldn't decide which dolly to take, and rather than calmly helping her I just shouted 'choose one, we're leaving.'

So of course drop off at nursery was awful, and I can't help but think it is all my fault. I have taught her dreadful ways to deal with things, and the behaviour that drives me nuts is of my own making.

Is it just us? How can I make the mornings feel less like an episode of supernanny?

It's not just you. :) There are some things you can do to make it go more smoothly, however. Everyone's tired at 7.30am so the more preparation you can do, the better it should go. Clothes laid out, packed lunches made (if you do that) children in bed early, everyone getting up a little earlier than normal. I'm also a firm believer in setting expectations and getting agreement. Not so much for 2yos but, with a 4yo, you should be able to have an honest conversation where you say .... "Mornings aren't gong so well at the moment. How can we make it go better tomorrow? What could we all do differently?"

Thanks for your reply, I honestly think that it is me that creates the problem as we do all of the things you suggest. My DD is a really bright little girl and we do chat about these things - yet she is a champion whiner and when I feel under the slightest pressure the red mist descends. I know that my poor reaction to all of this just makes the situation worse, I just wish I could stay calm and be the grown up!

Whining makes me ratty as well. I worked out eventually that if I ignore the whining and carry on regardless my BP stayed down and things tended not to escalate. Maybe a reward scheme could work? Ping pong balls go into a jar for non-whiny mornings and are removed for whiny mornings. When the jar is full she gets to do something fun.

Hello, same here! I know I need to keep my cool and not snap, but mornings are the worst time of day for me. I have 3 DD's aged 5yrs, 4yrs and 5 months. Eldest DD goes to school, 2nd DD goes to pre-school. DH works all different shifts so very rarely around to help with school run.
I try to get the pack lunch ready the night before (if I can fit it in with the house work, cooking, baby and working from home of an evening) but it only takes 5 mins to do so really try to get myself into the habit of doing it the night before.
Every night I tell myself I am going to iron the school uniform and DD2's clothes before I go to bed (I have done this 4 times since school started in September )

My girls know how to push my buttons, and it's the sitting on the floor whinging at me and just staring at me rather than answer me that gets me every time, followed by 'huggy mummy' and refusing to do anything until I cuddle them and I end up having a strop and telling them off. I know that all I have to go is give them a quick cuddle and encourage them to do as I ask, but I am ususally so wound up by this point that I dont want to cuddle them.

I then spend the entire morning feeling guilty and explaining to DD3 that I do really love her sisters and begging her not to be a wind up merchant like her sisters when she gets bigger....

Am very much liking the ping pong suggestion.

I don't know how you feel about vitamins but I have a jar by the front door and in the mornning the children ask for 'a one a day sweet' and my reply is always 'when you've got your shoes and coat on and are by the front door.' Works every time

Casualty, which vitamins do you use? We have the jelly ones which I have to hide as my two would devour the whole pack if left unattended! I remember as a child having the little round hard vitamins but for the life of me cant remember what they were called. Different fruit flavours that were delicious. I thought for years that they were good behaviour sweets - cant believe I only remembered this today! I should have spoken to my mum about this a long time ago, ha ha

NatzCNL, it is like you are describing my mornings! Except I am making heavy weather of having two - not sure how you do it with 3! It is so true that just doing what they've asked (a cuddle or helping with every button on her cardy) is so much quicker than saying no and then dealing with the aftermath. But when I can see a list as long as my arm of things to do before we can leave the house I get tunnel vision - I don't think I am as good at multi tasking as I like to claim! I had a great morning this morning but as soon as we hit nursery it all fell apart, but the separation anxiety that my DD is going through is another post...

Ping Pong balls and a jar of something on the way out is a great idea.