teaching to self-settle at 4 months - is it possible?

[redspottedfrog]

DS2 is 20 weeks and ebf. The dreaded four month sleep regression started at about 15 weeks, although tbh he wasn't sleeping that well before then.

At the moment, most nights you can set your watch on him waking up every two hours, though some nights are worse. The last couple of nights he's woken up every hour in the middle of the night, and last night every 20 mins at one point .

When he wakes, I feed him back to sleep. He will usually only feed for 5 mins, occasionally longer, and sometimes for less. A lot of the time I get the feeling he doesn't really need to food, just the boob to get back off to sleep. I have no problem with feeding a lot over night if he needs it.

He's in a cot right next to our bed (nowhere else for it to go) and I'm a fairly light sleeper so I always wake up before he does, and pretty much always get him out to settle him before he begins to get upset. The have been about two occasions when I've been shattered so have woken up with the noise, but then have drifted back off before I got him up, then woken again anf realised that he he has gone back to sleep, which suggests it is possible for him to self settle.

Some nights I'll lie and wait when he wakes to see what happens, but usually he just ends up crying, or become more and more awake so so noisy I couldn't go back to sleep anyway!

We've tried a dummy a couple of times but he just spits it out.

During the day he's a little bugger and will usually only sleep in his pram, but has the very occasional short first-morning nap in his cot (fed to sleep of course).

In the evening he is very difficult to settle in his cot until very late, often just falling asleep in his bouncer. Over the last couple of nights he has gone down earlier (8.45 last night) but he fed and fell asleep on me in the lounge and I carried him into the bedroom when he was in a completely deep sleep. Even though he is clearly tired he objects to being initially fed to sleep in the bedroom .

So, any ideas? I don't like the idea of CC or CIO. I've vaguely tried PUPD and patting but no joy and I am very aware of how little he is and how much he nedes his mummy!

TIA.

i think that it's normal for him to be feeding 2 hourly during the night at that age.

that said, i wouldn't be rushing to resettle him if he isn't actually upset. I would tend to just wait and see if he settles himself before feeding him.
or just shush and pat him when he stirs, and see if that settles him back down.

I knlow thisis and if he needs feeding then so be it. But there are definitely times when it seems to be for comfort so to get off to sleep iyswim. I need to try leaving him more often and see what happens. I really depends on how tired I am though as short term that certainly won't get me more sleep!!!

At this age I remember DS1 falling asleep on the big cushions at the bf group we went to. I can't see DS2 doing that at all, so he feels much more attaced to the boob!

My experience with DDs was that if you give baby a good feed, play with them or give them a bath, and then put them in the cot upstairs,whilst they're still awake 9this is KEY), and stay with them for a few minutes, and leave them ready to seep- it worked out best for me. Also, after a good feed and a bath, they drift off better! Next feed will possibly be due when the baby awakens from hunger and not just because they wake up and need to be fed/cudded/rocked back to sleep...
usually, stick to your fixed bedtime (around six PM??).

This is what Tracey Hogg (the baby whisperer) called the EASY plan- Eat-Activity-Sleep-You time. (YOU meaning mum/Dad!)

All the best!

Thanks! It's tricky as we have a toddler too so establishing a bedtime routine for DS2 just sems harder somehow. Last night I put him in the bath with his brother for the first time (the bathroom has been too cold up until now!) and intend to do this from now on. This is at about 7.30. Earlier may not be possible as I also plan to walk to and from DS2's nursery on the day he goes, which is an hour round trip, and the baby usually sleeps all the way. So 6pm is too early for him to be properly sleepy again.

It's whether he'll take a good feed at this time I suppose. Well I can but try!

I agree, dear redspottedfrog!!
I also had DDs close together (only 19 months between them) so I can only sympathise!
Points you might need to prioritize on, according to your own situation, however, are:
1- It doesn't matter if you do the sleep routine at six, seven or half-past-seven PM...do whatever suits your family.
2- Make time for DC1, as its crucial to them that they get play-cuddle and sleep time with you before bedtime!
3- DD2 will be ready for sleep if you stick to the same routine on most days!
4- bathing both of them together is a good idea, as its a great bonding time for all three of you, plus it makes life simple for you!! :)

Thanks shine. It's a challenge, isn't it?!
Tonight DS2 woke up at 6.30 after a sleep in the pram (DS had taken them both out). I popped him in the bath at about 7.45 after a feed, and then took him into the bedroom...no chance! I ended up feeding him to sleep on my knee in the lounge about an hour ago, and then I've just had to feed hum again.

Lots more work to do I think!