why is it so hard???

[foxeeroxee]

I am new to mumsnet so please bear with me. i feel so ashamed to write this but i find been a mum so hard and draining....feel like im functioning on auto pilot most days. my 12week old ds wont stop crying and is a grumpy bugger,my 3year old ds is still finding potty training hard and likes a good fight and my 5year old dd is a drama queen whos latest thing is witches in the toilet :-/ try my best to spread my attention evenly and give older 2 one-on-one time but everything just doesnt seem good enough. people have commented what kind,polite and fun children i have....so why cant i see it?
Am on antidepressants and my dp is wonderful and is supportive so why am i left feeling a failure???
Sorry for lengthy post but i feel lost atm.

You're not a failure, it just seems to hit you all at once and you think wtf am I doing? If its any help DS1 is 4 in May, DS2 is 20weeks and I'm 12w with #3 so I'm with you! Could you put baby in a sling it could stop the grumpiness as he's close to you and you've your hands free to chuck under stairs deal with the others. Try the potty training again in a few weeks (I was reading the other week that some kids AGED 5 are still in nappies when they start school) he'll not be in school for a while yet so don't stress yourself out over it too much and try again later. I know kids now that age who'll just not use the toilet. Do you have Sure Start Centres near by that you can escape to/take the kids along to some of the activities and get out of the house? They're a bloody lifesaver. What area do you live? Baby can probably sense how you're feeling and the others seem to pick up on it and seem to wind you up even more. They'll be lots of people on here to give you support and I think sometimes its best to have an anonymous rant on-line so you can get it all out rather than talk to someone at home then feel awkward after.

There's always chocolate and cake for a quick pick me up!

Thanks for your reply it means a lot to have someone 'listening'. Baby goes in sling when i have to make tea/wash up/ make lunchboxes etc and even when flipping pancakes for the others....not very health and safety but hey we got on with it.ds1 is at nursery every aft so i dont evrn think i should be complaining
nice to know theres support out there and i am def finding refuge in choc/caked etc lol

foxee It can be REALLY hard with just one (as I'm sure you remember) and auto-pilot is the default setting for many parents with a baby so to be managing with three is brilliant. Don't be hard on yourself :) Do not be ashamed. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

If potty training is hard, then stop. He might just not be completely ready yet, and that's fine. Try again in a few weeks when things are a bit more settled.

DD's witches in the toilet - can you give her something to keep the witches away? Something daft like a magic wand she can wave to 'magic' anything that might be in there away before she goes in? Or can you put some sort of special 'potion' (bleach) down there which gets rid of all the witches forever (no idea if this would work, but it might be worth a try!)

Good to know that you're not denying yourself cake though, that on it's own can be a lifesaver

Yes its hard no matter how many dc u have.
Ds1 is fine doing wees its the other ;-) he aint wanting to do on potty/toilet and doesnt want anything other than undies coz 'thems for babies'
Dd has found a solution to the witches bout half hour ago.....throw water all over them 'like off wizard of oz where that witch melts'......bathroom soaked!!!! Dont think i want her doing that everytime she uses loo tho!!

foxee Do you have one of those garden spray bottles? A little bit of water in there might work - your bathroom would get lightly misted rather than totally soaked

Omg!!! What a brill idea lol next time i nip into town il get 1!! May evenhave one lurking in the back of a cupboard not that i have time to look haha thanks!! :-D

Well had a fun filled night....think ds2 is starting teething,then ds1 woke up saying he had a party to go to and then dd woke up wanting her hair putting up.they have all been up well over an hour and are now wanting to dress up and paint.i am glad they are so active and dont want to just veg on sofa but i am so drained and feel like am been pulled apart by them all. please someone just tell me im not going mad :'(

You are not going mad.

Three children under five is a lot of work, so you are allowed to feel stressed. It looks like you are on your way to solving the witches problem!

Well dd had been to the toilet 3times already and not mentioned it....just seems to be when im busy doing something else eg feeding/changing ds2. I wouldnt mind but i activly try to find mum n daughter time but its never enough.

It is hard. My DD3 turned one recently, DD1 is just 5. It is getting easier everyday. I promise. I will gloss over my night from hell because it's not DD1's fault she had the worst timed tummy bug ever.

You are doing brilliantly, they will be fine. You even made pancakes for them.

Glad you are feeling a bit better . It took DS1 ages to poo anywhere other than the potty. I found it once on his windowsil of all places!

It's the hardest job in the world. I think you're doing great with 3, if other people have commented how well they behave you're doing it right!

Thanku all for taking the time to post and say such positive things. i aint stopped all day n only just found time to respond.
I think with me having depression i probs make a mountain out if molehills. dc are well behaved for other people but not for me....i take this really personally and almost a lack of respect for me. iv even started taking things out on oh because i just cant understand why he sticks around with someone like me.he reassures me lots but i wondet if its bs coz hes scared to leave with me 'having issues'
Sorry for the rambling iv probs posted in wrong place as well
thanku to the posts that say im doing well but its def a facade i try to keep up to everyday :-(