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Original poster

Only 1 person has responded to my 5 year olds invites

11 replies

myboysaregreat · 24/02/2012 21:15

I sent out invitations to the entire class, on the 10th of Feb for my sons 5th birthday party and only 1 person has replied. Its only a class of 20 and I thought I would have had at least a few more replies. I dont always go to the school so dont really know the parents, everyone stands on their own but I always try to speak with people. (My mum does a lot of the school run & said the same as me.) I spoke with the teacher last week on another matter but enquired about my son and his friendships in class and she said he is extremely popular and was voted class councillor. In the 6 months of being there, there has only been 2 other parties which we attended and both parties only 3 or 4 children were there. We have got 1 week to go and I dont know if my mum should enquire at the school or if that may be pushy? Worried in case people turn up as I am doing individual food. I already have 28 children coming. I feel so sorry for my son though as he keeps saying who in my class will be there mammy? :(

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franke · 24/02/2012 21:19

I don't think it's pushy to ask.

sensesworkingovertime · 24/02/2012 21:26

hiya, i do sympathise with you in this situation. Could it be anything to do with the fact the other mums don't know you, just guessing here as I'm sure most if not all of the children want to go to your child's party. Have you asked them if anyone has said anything to them in school about if they are coming? i know that won't be reliable but at least you might get some idea?

If you are not sure I would just cater for a few extra and don't overdo it, surely people who turn up unexpectedly cannot expect you to work miracles.

Try to focus on the positive aspects of the day with your child, at least they will have other people there. Good luck.

Original poster

myboysaregreat · 24/02/2012 21:40

It could be but they dont seem to socialise amongst themselves.
I go at least once a week and most people stand on their own. I'm very sociable and always try to pass the time of day with people. My husband said he finds it odd that there has only been 2 other parties and the parents at these parties also commented, so maybe they just dont do parties??? worried that I sent the invites out too early as it was the Fri before the school broke up. Its his birthday Monday so he is taking sweets in and I'm hoping this may jog their memories or make them feel rude for not replying even if it is a thanks but no thanks!
And you're right I will try and focus on the positive aspects. We have a number of really good friends outside of the school environment so I'm sure he'll have a great time. I keep saying to him that he sees his school friends on his birthday and his other friends at his party
I'll get my mum to ask so she can be the pushy one :)
Thanks, these parties can be stressfull!

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shebird · 24/02/2012 22:10

Perhaps with the half term break invites might have been put to one side and forgotten. Are you sure that all the kids have actually got the invites? It is the norm in DDs school for the teacher to put them in their tray or book bag - it has been known for invites to sit under a pile of stuff and never actually make it home. I would ask some parents next time at school - I would have thought that if they could make the party they should at least let you know.

isobelle · 24/02/2012 22:17

This is a tricky one IMO our replies came back in drips and draps and some not at all (which I do find rude, no acknowledgement whatsoever) but do appreciate that everyone is different and some people have a lot on their plate without worrying about RSVPs.

There may have been more parties in the class but only selected children invited, rather than a whole class. Also sometimes people tend to not always seem forthcoming or clicky at the pickup or dropoff but are often quite cosy via texts, fbook, and other things where their paths may cross such as afterschool activities - swimming, football etc

Your DS has plenty of confirmed guests so thats good news, when you are in next approach a few of the mums for the ones he keeps mentioning and just say, 'just wondering if your son/daughter can make ...party on sat?' I have done this and been asked aswell by others before the rsvp date and felt it was appropriate either way.

mrudagawa · 24/02/2012 22:20

I put out dd's invites 2 weeks ago and not had a single text or call. The 3 or 4 mums I know have obviously told me they can make it but nothing from anyone else. I find it so bizarre. If dd gets an invite I text back straight away. What is wrong with people?

DingbatsFur · 24/02/2012 22:25

I had a similar problem. I sent DS to ask his little friends to tell their parents to reply.. worked. Got the last 3 sheepish replies that evening.

OlympicEater · 24/02/2012 22:31

Oh it is so rude. There's another poster ranting about the same issue in AIBU, and with good justification.

I don't understand what is so difficult about a call / text / mail to advise one way or another.

Original poster

myboysaregreat · 25/02/2012 08:14

Thanks for all of your threads :). Unfortunatley I have not been to the school since the invites have been handed out and I was due to to the school run on thu & fri but my son is poorly :(.
I am the same I text as soon as I get an invite even if its a polite decline. I wouldnt care I only invited the class as it is school policy to invite the whole class. If i didnt do this I would have gone to another venue but that venue only caters for 30 children. I have 28 definates and possibly another 3. Just been speaking with my mum and she will be on the case next week. I know I still have a week but I would have thought a couple of replies. I just think that if people cant pass the time of day in the yard what chances do their children have with their social skills?
I think I may try the ask your friends for a reply approach.
Thank you again

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Original poster

myboysaregreat · 25/02/2012 10:49

I also vowed I wouldnt be one of these mothers

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sensesworkingovertime · 25/02/2012 14:57

Hi again, I'm glad you've found some help here on MN. Yes it shouldn't be so stressful should it, it should be the opposite but it is because we just want our DS or DD to have a nice day - and I'm sure he will. Don't forget, he'll pick up on stress from you so another reason to try and chill (easier said then done but it's what my DS is always saying to me!).

The mums at your school sound like an unfriendly lot, mind you, the ones at my DDs school are only friendly with the mums of whoever their child plays with, it's like the rest might aswell not exist. I don't know how people can be like that, I will say hello to anyone but from most of the mums I get frozen out or scowls, so be it, only another 18 months to go.....back to your prob...just go with the flow, if they can't be bothered to let you or your mum know just think 'stuff it' and have a nice day with your DS.

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