Does having dc2 alter feelings towards dc1?

[smongesmonge]

We're considering having a second child. Ds is 5. We are very close. I love the relationship we have and worry about changing it and that I will change in the way I feel towards him if we do have another. Is there a change in relationship and feeling? Also if there is anyone with a 6 year age gap between their children, did you still feel you had enough time with your elder child when the new baby came along?

Thanks

to put it simple no

when you had ds were you worried your feelings towards his father would change? and did they? there's your answer

there is enough love to go around

No. Your capacity to love just grows, the way it doesn when you go from being a couple, to a family in the first place.

Hi,

I haven't got the same age gap as you, but I can confirm that all though you currently wonder how you could possibly love anyone else as much as you love your DS, you have another baby and BOOM you realise it is possible. You love them both in equal measures and also, they have each other - siblings are precious. It has only made my relationship with both of mine better, they have to learn to share me (but that is no bad thing!) and we get to spend time 1:1 and as a family unit - I wouldn't change a thing. (Actually I would... I'm expecting again! So it can't be that bad!)

Different age gap but I would say yes,in a positive way - I loved dd even more after seeing how much she loved ds (dd was only 20 months at the time!). I was so proud of how much she card for him - she still does and she's 10 now!

I do feel I love my dh differently though, so perhaps that is not the usual experience? I feel less dependant on his love now as I have ds, though I love dh more deeply as I see him father ds.

Also over christmas we were with family and I found myself getting annoyed at ds more often in the presence of younger children, as I felt he was maybe too rough etc so I just worry that I will see him as a big insensitive boy in comparison to a little one!

It doesn't make you love them any less at all. DS and us have always been very close. He is my best friend and we have a lovely happy life. DS2 came along at Christmas and I just fell even more inlve with DS1 seeing just how far we'd come and how he'd grown from being a helpless screaming baby to a beautiful reasonable genuinely interesting little person and it made me even more proud of him. The love and bond between us is stronger than ever.

Rowanrowow - that was beautifully put

I'm due in 6 weeks with ds2. Ds1 is so excited about becoming a big brother. He kisses and cuddles my tummy etc. I can't wait to see the two of them interacting with each other and watching their relationship develop.

Aww that's the best bit of them. DS2 is now 9 weeks old and DS1 is 4. Obviously DS2 isn't as interactive and playful as DS1 would like yet but he is so gentle with him and very very patient, even when he's screaming and crying it doesn't seem to phase him at all. The bond and friendship that will hopefully grow between them is one of the many things we are really looking forward to. DS2 seems to save all his best smiles for his big brother! Do be prepared though to feel like you miss just having one child. There have been times when I have just wept over the passing of time and how fast it seems to have gone since DS1 was as tiny and screamy as DS2 and it's gone in the blink of an eye. It makes me want to grab him and hold him to my chest and just keep him there, this perfect little being who is growing WAAAAY too fast! I didn't expect to miss him being my only baby but I really do. We try to have one on one time every day and every weekend we have a day where we do what DS1 wants and he gets to do it with just one of us without the baby. Good luck to all of you expecting DC2, it's hard but will be worth it in the end!

My Dc's have an 8 year gap and yes my relationship with him changed ~ a lot! I found that I couldn't kiss him on the lips any more. No idea why. :( and it took me considerable effort to change that back. We've never been as close as we were.

Lots more, but wont go into it here.