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Parenting

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Original poster

When do little boys stop being adorable?

15 replies

LittleDeerandMe · 22/02/2012 09:45

That's it really! Ds is 5 and gives me big hugs and kisses when dropping him off at school. He holds my hand walking around the village. He loves snuggles, and plans to live with me forever. I love it of course . I imagine though that some time soon he may stop these things. This school year and next school year are in a different building to the older classes so perhaps he'll stay sweet until he moves up into the main school building, where he'll become aware of big boys? What are your experiences of little boys going from sweet to wannabe macho?

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MissBerta · 22/02/2012 09:48

My 12 year old is still adorable and we hug often. He doesn't hold my hand any more (obvs!) but we still kissed at the school gate until about the end of yr4. My younger son is quite a bit younger and he is sooo cuddly at the moment, it's lovely.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 22/02/2012 09:54

Mine's 12 in a couple of months, is soft as grease, and I still get lots of hugs. Mostly in private, admittedly. My friend's DS is 20 and she tells me the same thing. 'Adorable' might be pushing it these days but, as I tell him, you're never too big for a hug!

matana · 22/02/2012 10:07

Was wondering this myself

I think it probably depends on how tactile you as a family are, coupled with some personality thrown in there no doubt. They probably just get to the age where they'll freely hug/ kiss in private but not in public! I can cope with that i think.

I'm not even convinced it's a male/ female thing either - my DH will shower DS with hugs, kisses, cuddles (and play fights of course) so i think that having a role model like that (i.e. with a sensitive side) is probably good for them too.

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Original poster

LittleDeerandMe · 22/02/2012 11:21

Wow, great to hear! I'd been waiting for the snuggles to drop off ever since he started school and was happy that it hasn't happened yet, but I never expected that 12 year olds would still hug. I guess my only experience was my younger brother, he stopped kisses etc when he started school, then by about 14 he started grunting instead of talking and it's only since age 25 that he has become properly verbal and affectionate again .

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 22/02/2012 12:03

After both watching Harry Enfield's infamous 'Kevin' sketch where he wakes up on the morning of his 13th birthday moody, spotty, awkward and monosyllabic... we occasionally have jokey conversations about 'you're not turning into a Kevin are you?!' Not much you can do if they do turn into Kevin viz your brother, I suppose, except wait for them to grow out of it.

BikeRunSki · 22/02/2012 12:15

My brother's nearly 46 and he is still sweet and cuddly. If don't remember him being ad Keviney teenager either.

Kveta · 22/02/2012 12:16

around 4.30pm (until he's asleep) and then again at 4am. Not even remotely adorable then.

roguepixie · 22/02/2012 12:21

My DS is 11.7. He was a cuddly, affectionate little boy and has grown into a cuddly and affectionate older boy. My DS is still happy to give me a big hug in public and often snuggles up and rests his head on my shoulder on the bus home. I sometimes think it will end at some point in the future but he shows no sign of changing. I think some children are just plain huggy, tactile and outwardly showing of their affection - your DS (and mine, I hope) may always be this way.

Cogito, we also have the jokey "you'll get up in the morning of your 13th birthday as 'Kevin'" conversation.

DottyDot · 22/02/2012 12:25

Awww - well my ds1 has never been one for hugs, even as a baby/toddler/small child. He's 10 years old now and is just utterly adorable - mainly because he's trying so hard to be a grown up but really isn't . And, bizarrely, after 10 years or so of no hugs and kisses, we're finally getting the very occasional very quick hug. It's like he's finally allowing himself to, which I love.

The other brilliant thing about him being older is that he's now got an ipod touch and can send me messages - I think this will be the way he lets himself communicate a bit more and honestly, one of best things in my life at the moment is when I get messages from him - totally melts my heart

Ds2 is 8 and has been a hugger and cuddler from day 1 - a proper velcro baby He still is and to be honest, it ranges from lovely to very annoying on a daily basis! But I'm glad we got one tactile child - and I don't think he'll ever stop wanting cuddles, which is fine by me!

In summary - they're both still outrageously adorable but then I would say that wouldn't I..?!

funnypeculiar · 22/02/2012 12:33

DS is just 8 and will still hold my hand on the way to/from school, give me an enormous hug when I pick him up etc - like you, I kept expecting it to tail off as he started school, and then this year as he entered Y3 and went to middle school. But so far, the only sign I had was one day when he thought it might be better if I didn't kiss him at the school gate in the morning , so I let him decide how he says goodbye (still usually a hug). As Manata says, I suspect there's a mix of family norms & personality that define this one.

At ds's (8th) party they watched a film, and there was a gathering of kids who've know each other since they were 4, but don't see each other regularly. The sat on the sofa with their arms round each other - adorable!!

forward · 22/02/2012 12:39

They never stop being adorable, they just stop wanting you to know it, so you have to watch carefully and grab your opportunities.

DS1 hasn't wanted cuddles since around 6yo, but is adorably caring e.g. will bring a cup of tea if he thinks you're upset

DS2 (8yo) loves his cuddles, but also uses them to manipulate me...

Dotty, don't say that to me. I have been strenuously resisting all kinds of mobile electronic devices for DS1....

imnotmymum · 22/02/2012 12:41

I hope it is never I am totes in love with my son he is too adorable and gets away with murder much more than his older sisters !!!

cory · 22/02/2012 12:43

sweet and wannabe macho can co-exist side by side; you just have to be sensitive to the situation so you don't try to impose behaviour that is suitable to a private moment of mother-son time on a situation that is not private (in front of his mates, with new girlfriend)

it's part of growing up: you wouldn't want your dh to use your shared intimate language to you in front of your boss- but that doesn't mean intimacy cannot exist in a different place.

I get a lot of hugs from my 11yo. Just not in public.

everlong · 22/02/2012 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DottyDot · 22/02/2012 12:53

forward He offered to pay half so we agreed with some reluctance and I'm soooo glad we did. It's just lovely - he facetimes me and as I'm away with work from time to time I really like the fact that he'll just facetime me to say hello - and he messages "night night" most nights when he's just about to go to sleep - awwwww...!

And he also messages two of his friends who also have ipod touches which again, I'm really pleased about. He's hugely shy/introverted and the fact that he will send and likes to get messages is brilliant as I always stress about about whether/how he'll make friends (me, dp and ds2 are all wildly extroverted so poor ds1 suffers at home with us all ).

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