BF issues, a big cranky 5 week old boy and a general feeling of despair :(

[MrsDickie]

Hello, I'm a mums net newbie and having some issues..

1. My breastmilk has gone downhill rapidly - what can I do to perk that back up before it goes entirely?
2. My DS is 5 weeks old and is +11lbs. I feel like I 'm mauling the poor little soul moving him around because he's so heavy. Not helped by still having a canny bit of pain from the emergency c-section and a pre-existing back problem.
3. I'm a 40 yr old first time mum. Am I just being a terrible stress head and making life harder for myself?
4. Spouse has man-flu....argh...

Cheers, mrs d x x

There's also been colic...

In short, help! Help!

Hello. Welcome to MN. Sounds like you are having a bit of a time of it. Well done for getting this far and for seeking out such a great place for support.

1. What makes you think your breastmilk has gone downhill?
2. How about a bit of osteopathy for you and your baby? A sling that spreads the weight more evenly across your back?
3. Most of us are terrible stress-heads making it harder for ourselves !What's stressing you out? What helps ease the stress?
4. Give him a vitamin c tablet and pat on the head and kick him out of bed to run you a bath

Thanks for replying so soon

I think I'm going to do the sensible thing and reply in the morning when I'll have some perspective back...and when I feel less whiny....

Unsure of ur details yet but just to let u know I've had many occasions thinking my milks drying up, but I'm still successfully breastfeeding at 5 months. Just keep latching him whenever he shows signs of hunger xx

I think it's normal to feel this sheer exhaustion at 5 weeks in. The help is starting to tail off and friends have kind of all gone back to normal with the novelty of a new baby wearing off.

I also thought I had milk issues. HV was fab and I was a crying mess at my 6 week check. I was just having a bad day but she called round that afternoon and said she thought I was doing too much. She was right! A few days on the sofa feeding on demand and enjoying cuddles helped me to feel 'full' again. It is worth noting that your milk does start to settle down at this stage so you won't always gets that full bursting feeling but your supply will be the same.

hang in there - this is a tricky stage where you are transitioning from the huge "wow you have a newborn" to "ok, dad back at work, normal life resumes for everyone else" . As others have said the milk thing should settle down and generally a lot of things get easier at 6-8 weeks (including colic). Take it easy, forget dong much else, just chill out with and the TV and MN and feed as and when. Try to think of him as robust and bonny rather than big and heavy . If you have a good HV go and see them or get them to pop round and maybe go to a BF clinic - they are truly fab and won't bat an eyelid if you cry or something - when I went there were three of us there, all on separate sofas, boobs out, sobbing and the HV just calmly sorted us all out - and there was tea!

Guinness!!! If you think your milk flow could be more productive, have a bottle of Guinness a day. I remember thinking this was a bit of an old wives' tale but, I tell you what, I could have fed triplets the amount of milk I produced afterwards.

I second trixie about finding a good group. We were lucky to have a fabulous group locally, and yes, there'd usually be tears from at least one mum during the course of the morning.

I also second the guiness - I don't think it's the guiness, I think it's the relaxant properties of a small amount of alcohol. My HV suggested a glass of wine and chocolate cake. This really helped me through the "witching hour" which is those few hours in the evening when baby is permanently latched and you worry about your milk not satisfying them. It's all perfectly normal. The fact that you have fed a big baby shows that your milk is okay, you are doing better than you know.

It's normal to have a wibble and a wobble and I never believed anyone when they said "it gets easier", then one day I was feeding and realised it had.

I found a website on Natural remedies for breast feeding problems and it's well worth a look. Guinness is recommended as it contains hops (rather than the alcohol content)

Hops (Humulus lupulus) is another old remedy. It is especially for mothers of twins who need lots more milk. Hops tea is a suitable accompaniment to nighttime feedings, as it brings sleep along with increased milk flow. Hops is also used in beer, which tastes better than the tea. No more than one high-quality, additive free beer, such as Guinness Stout, per day is fine. For those who wish to avoid alcohol, there are alcohol-free brews rich in hops and malt available.

Morning, I also have a large 5-weeker, and yes they are big heavy lumps! Although they are obviously not going to get lighter, my experience with DS1 was that as their muscle tone improves and they hang onto you a bit more, they become easier to move around. Also, your own muscles really do get stronger. In any case, babies are much more robust than you think, my toddler is a little over-enthusiastic with hugs etc, baby really doesn't seem to mind too much :)

Re the breastfeeding, try to chill out and be confident in your own body. Don't know what you mean by going downhill, but if you mean your breasts don't feel so big and full, then that is entirely normal and a sign that your body is adjusting to perfectly meet the needs of your baby. You will be producing enough, until the baby decides he needs a faster supply, and then you will get a day or 2 of intensive feeding which your body will respond to.
If you mean your DS is feeding a lot and isn't satisfied, you maybe are going through one of these spurts. Relax, go to bed with your baby, feed on demand with lots of skin to skin an and a nice hot chocolate! If you don't have other pressing things to do, these days are lovely!

New babies are indeed stressful. I do think 6 weeks is often a turning point though. Hang in there, try to stay relaxed and as long as your DS is doing plenty of nappies and growing well, then sounds like you are doing great.

Re man-flu: make sympathetic noises, but he'll have to look after himself. You really want to avoid catching it. Being up all night feeding whilst being ill is really no fun at all!

Supply seems to improved again thanks to a bit of unproductive expressing and a cheeky late night Erdinger Dunkel that was lurking in the fridge. It's fair to say I'm more than a bit relieved, and I also now have a valid excuse to have the odd single beer. :o

What was happening was DS would only feed on one boob for a short time and the nipple shield (due to flat nips) showed no signs of any milk at all in contrast to how things were before. I'd try him with the other one and the same would happen. He'd also evidently still be hungry when he came off. Fortunately I had some expressed milk to bridge the gap, but I was a little bit demented with worry and a general sense of uselessness last night that fortunately has gone this morning.

I've also decided that from now on, all evening feeds are to happen in our bedroom as I don't think our living room was terribly restful and TBH *someone (cough) was getting on my wick somewhat....which never helps.

On the size thing, I'm looking forward to being strong enough and for his muscle tone to improve as at the moment, it must look like I'm trying to wrestle a small shaven bear. If I have a day of picking him up a lot, I end up feeling like I've been ridden hard over stony ground :/.

Fortunately all is better now, and I'm feeling a bit braver :)

Thanks again for all the encouragement, it's really appreciated x

As a mother of also a big baby and with a bad back you have every sympathy from me. You are doing really well it sounds like, make sure you drink enough water, I always found my supply felt lower if I'd not been drinking enough, and its easy to forget when you are glued to the sofa.
I'm 12 weeks in and please be reassured it will get easier - and you will barely remember this little period then. The backache will get better too (a little anyway) I promise xxx