Any advice how to handle this, 7 yr old dd calling herself 'fat.'

[GoodnightNobody]

So today my daughter when my dd was putting on her swimming cossie she said,'look at my fat legs.'

she's referred to herself having a 'fat tummy' recently.

When i was growing up My mum had an eating disorder. I did too in my teens, i had councelling, recoved and I am sensitive to how awful and corrosive a negative self image is, so I've always been really careful never to critic my own body or those of others in front of my children. My own body image is healthy.

My dd does non girly sports like a martial art, football and because I grew up with such a screwed up attitude to food I have consciously tried to make cooking and eating a shared and enjoyable thing.

I told my daughter that she has a beautiful, strong body and asked why she called her legs fat. She wouldn't answer and just said that they were.

I'm scared and would appreciate any advice here.

Thanks.

Bump

Ok, take a deep breath.

Tell your daughter she is beautiful, and just keep telling her. It will sink in on some level. She may just be 'checking' with you whether she's fat or not.

I would avoid telling her she's thin/not fat, as this then can be taken as confirmation that thin = beautiful.

She isn't you. You sound like you've done a great job in giving her a healthy attitude to food etc- this could just be a wobble; she is not impervious to the culture around her, but she can resist it with your help. I would say keep doing what you're doing; lots of telling her she is loved and beautiful. Even if she denies it, she is taking it in.

Good luck

Fantastic, clear advice tethersend.

Thank you

I'm having similar problems with the six year old girl I look after. She has started not eating all of her pasta, telling me she needs to slim down so she can run fast. Also, she told her sister that she shouldn't eat cake as it will make her fat and her tummy is fat already.

These children have an almost obsessively healthy diet, the cake in question was a homemade pineapple muffin, made as a once a week treat. I know that mum is controlling their diet for what she believes to be in their best interests, but, for example, she tells them pasta is an unhealthy choice, they are not allowed a knob of butter on their new potatoes, they eat no processed food apart from no added sugar biscuits (packed full of sweeteners) for school snacks.

They are very active children, growing well and loads of energy, but I feel that mum is inadvertently making them obsessed with "good food/bad food". It's a tricky balance to find, obviously you need to get across to kids that a diet of chips and chocolate is bad and a balanced diet with a variety of foods, fruit and veg is the norm.

I reassure her that her body is absolutely perfect, that the food I serve her is the right amount and I try to encourage positive conversation about food, "doesn't the basil taste good with the tomatoes", "fish is good for your brain, meat helps your muscles grow strong, pasta gives you lots of energy".

Sorry, this is a bit of a rambling post but it's something that's been on my mind and I'm not sure how to raise it with mum. She is the sort of parent who, instead of keeping things low key and not making a big issue out of it, will book an appointment with the paediatrician and make it seem like a huge problem, which I'm not sure would be the best thing for the child at the moment.

Any advice would be very welcome!
Thank you