Have I made a rod for my own back?? How do I break it?!

[VickyandAlistair]

Hey all,

Bit of background info - ds is 16mo I live with him and dh in a house which also unfortunately contains my brother, my dad, and my very elderly grandmother. Reason we live here is because we were renting a flat which we could no longer afford (they wanted to increase the rent) and we had also amassed a fair bit of debt. When my dad offered to take us in (5 bed house) we thought it was the answer to our prayers.. WRONG!

Don't get me wrong. Most of the time its ok there. But ds has never been the greatest sleeper, he sleeps through maybe 4 nights out of 7, but lately hes been waking up a bit more often. Obviously in a house with 3 other people trying to sleep, leaving him to cio isnt exactly an option. So recently, we have been bringing him into bed with us when he wakes, getting him back to sleep, then putting him back in his bed. This is actually a bad thing to do we have discovered, as now, when he wakes at nightm, instead of self settling like he used to, he cries out to be taken into our bed. ARGH. What can I do? Co-sleeping isnt an option, dh and my bed is only 4ft, in addition, ds snores like a tiny train and I cant get a wink of sleep. How do I break this habit without waking my entire household up?!

Don't think you have made a rod for your own back at all. Think you are parenting your DS in a very caring way in what must be very difficult circumstances for all of you.

I may not be right but I think that half of 12 month olds wake and need help from their parents to get back to sleep, so what you are experiencing isn't unusual.

Have a read of this as it has some good tips in it. Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution too?

Is he in your room? If not, sleep in his room until it passes. Make sure he's not teething too.

Rod for your own back is a nonsense phrase with no meaning.

You are helping your child feel secure at night.

Can you replace your son's cot (assuming he is in one) with a single bed and if he wakes, you can all change beds? This is what I still do on occasion with my 2.8 year old, especially if he is ill or particularly unsettled. My husband will sleep in our son's bed and our son will sleep with me.

Thanks a lot JiltedJohnsJulie, thats really helpful and I will be doing some of the things on that list.

Iggly, he has a lot of teeth for a baby his age (15) but he still hasnt cut his left canines, so its possible they could be causing him some grief, i will have a look later

Tee2072, do you think he might be trying to tell me he is ready for a bed of his own? He is very tall. I just thought that they generally didnt have their own bed until they were 2 or 3?

Sorry for the silly questions, ds is my first baby and I had literally 0 experience of babies before him

Thanks again

He is telling he needs his mummy in the middle of the night. No more, no less. He isn't capable of any thought really beyond that! Especially at night.

Your job is to find a way so that all of you get as much sleep as you need.