Help - baby's father will away for first 3 months of life - advice please

[Mothpop]

I would love any advice on this matter.
My husband is in the army and will be deployed to Afghanistan when our first, and long awaited, baby arrives. He will miss the first 3 months of our baby's life.
I feel so sad that our baby will not know him from his/her first day of life.
I know that it will be difficult for me to cope without him but am trying to prepare myself as much as possible. What bothers me most us that when my husband returns there will be nothing about him that my baby recognises and the transition to accepting this new person will be very difficult.
How can I make this as easy as possible?
Has anyone ever used a scent (eg aftershave - not strong!!!) on a comforter that can be then also sprayed on a person?
Any ideas much appreciated.

It will be hard for you but your baby will not know the difference, rest assured. If you love your DH and feel safe with him, and you feel safe about letting your baby be cared for by your DH, your baby will adapt to him very fast indeed.

He could sleep with a cuddly toy that you could give her when she is born so his smell is familiar. If he is away ages before your due date then stick it in the freezer until you need it. Try not to overthink it. Babies are very resilient and she will get used to him very quickly when he gets back.

Please don't worry - DP lived in a different country to me and DD for the first 11 months of her life and they have always had a great relationship (they are on holiday ski-ing without me right now!) and a friend of mine who is divorced has twins whose father left them when they were tiny babies, lives on another continent and whom they barely see, yet adore!

Also he can record his voice saying nursery rhymes/lullabyes etc so that will be familiar too.

My dad was deployed for 9 months, he left the day I was born.
I have a great relationship with him. It must be really stressful for you x

I agree that it'll be more difficult for you than for baby. Do you have support? Family nearby etc? Purely anecdotal, but DP went away (just for a few nights) when LO was about 3 months old and I don't think LO even noticed. LO and I have just got home after a few days with my mum and dad and LO was sooooooo excited to see his daddy. I know it's tough for you, but from baby's point of view, this is probably the best time for your DH to be away as LO won't know what s/he's missing iyswim.

I like the scent idea though, and maybe a recording of his voice to listen to at bedtime. Just think how excited LO will be to meet the person who they've been listening to for months

Thank you everyone for your comments. You have really helped to reassure me that everything will be ok. I know it will be tough going but we will make sure that DH gets a huge amount of time with our new addition once he's home. I'm sure that all of your suggestions will help to ease the way :-).
Thank you